Skip to main content

Emotional weight of being a wife

A few days back, I had a fight with my husband. And as always happens, after a couple of counter arguments, I had to stop. The fight was then dominated by my better half and eventually I was in tears. It’s being four years, I am trying to understand him but I failed and the cost was always very painful. During our heated talks, he asked me if I know the meaning of being a wife. Since then this question is hitting me till deep. Am I not a wife (good or bad is next thing)? Am I not somebody with whom he wants to spend his life? Am I having some problem which is hindering me from being a wife (at least)?

As my profession gives handy, I googled this question, “What is being a wife?” And I found most of the answers/blogs/posts about this topic are written by women writers. The first page of my search result was full of advice from female audience and almost all of them suggest that women need to do more. But one thing surprised me that there was no such post in which any male has given suggestion on how to help your marriage. Or, at least I couldn’t get any on my first search page. I also found out those posts were divided into two categories. First, n things good wives go and second, n things good wives don’t do. I went through each of them carefully but none of the articles can answer my queries. What is being a wife? I have no courage to ask this very question to my husband who has originated it. I don’t want him to raise many other questions around this. I am scared of his questing ability!

Many of us are raised with the ideologies that a good wife sacrifices everything for her family. A good wife is patient with her husband's quirk. She never nags, flaunts, or demands. Okay, I may not be fitting on each of these criteria but this doesn’t mean I don’t comply to be a wife. I find this an injustice that my husband is asking me this question with whom I have spent my four precious years of life. When for every success of mine, I have given credit to him. When for every problem, I have taken help from him. And when every of my prayers I have wished to strengthen our relationship. However, I feel this is often assumed that relationship problems are meant to be fixed by women with giving MORE. "Wives are the fixers" pattern is one I still find despite we are part of a so-called new generation. 

Everything has changed and got advanced with time but there are few things which are still hanging in between. Like, the definition of a good wife and a good mother.
With increasing emotional weight of being a wife, I often find it suffocating and slaying when I am expected to behave well for whole 365 days. I go out, meet diverse people, deal with problems, get frustrated with my failures and it is possible I fail to understand situations at home. I may behave inappropriately but this never means I hate being a wife. Or, I hate being in this relationship. I have far more value of this thing in my life and I fall for it. But sometimes I am wrong and I expect correction then. However, I don’t like this questing over my commitment for being A WIFE. I am picking pieces when our relationship gets hurt but I need help at times and who better can help me other than my husband! 
Listen This Post Stop Listening Post

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

My Monsoon Love Hate Love Story

Last year, almost the same time, I packed every belonging of mine and landed to a place which is close to my heart. With bag and baggage, my family moved from Delhi to Lucknow. It was monsoon time when I came here and thank god I witnessed a prosperous rain. Lucknow, though smaller compared to Delhi, is a place I distinguish since childhood. The city of Nawabs is believed as the happiest city in India. As our move was well calculated, my husband and I made sure to have all those things in our lives that I missed being in Delhi. A bigger house (that we can afford), green surroundings, street food access that we missed in Delhi and people who talk in our native tongue.

The Hate Story

I hated the rain when I was in Delhi. My house was in a busy lane of a crowded Delhi locality, and I was living on the second floor of the building. Hence neither I had easy access to the road, nor to terrace. When it rained, I was forced to stay inside. Roads used to get sunk even after the rain of half an…

The Utopian World Of Smart Devices

I would like to start this post with telling readers my profession. I am a software professional who has a decade of experience in technology and software development. In those 10 years, I have very closely seen how technology has evolved. Of course, the first urge was the necessity that let every invention happen. And then technology got advanced to make the user experience better and further sound. In the chain of making every sort of experience pleasanter for users, the era of smart devices came. We all remember the time when smartphones came into the market. Before that, we had those dial phones and keypad mobiles. We were able to talk to the other party. But the progression of technology made it real to actually see with whom we talk. We still talk through phones but with added feel and warmth.

The Utopian World Of Smart Devices

Not only smartphones, but there has been an exponential increase in the number of smart devices around us in the last 5 years. When I first heard the ter…

The Tradition of Respecting and Celebrating Food

This post is for #BharatKaZaika is a blogging event conducted by #BlogBoosterIndia. 

A story to begin with

After winning the great battle of kurukshetra, Yudhisthira was now king of Hastinapur. And then one day, all of sudden Krishna went to Yudhishithira and started saying in urgency "dadasvannam dadasvannam dadasvannam yudhisthira (“Give food! Give food! Give food! Yudhisthira). As the great battle had affected everyone in the country, food was the first way to start giving relief to the suffering countrymen.  As suggested by Krishna, yudhisthira then organized the great asvamedha-yajna. Mahabharata records an extraordinary celebration of distributing food as a part of the sacred year-long rites and rituals.

Our food heritage

You see, In our country, there is a tradition of respecting and celebrating food. The spirit of classical Indian civilization guided that primary duty of the king is to ensure that none within his domain suffers from hunger. Hence the king ensured that people…