Skip to main content

Did you fake your postpartum feelings?

After I returned to my in-laws place taking my new born, I found myself so fortunate to have such a wonderful husband. There are many more reason why I call him wonderful but that very time, he proved himself as the best father and the best husband. He was around us (me and our tiny baby) all the time. He was helping me in looking after our baby in every possible way he could. Even he was waking up with me during night whenever our baby cried for feed. As per my family convention, for few days after delivery, mother in-law stays with new mother (especially in night) so that she can help new mother in managing with the delicate baby. But my case was different. My husband was there and we both understood first few lessons of parenting together. This was the time when mothers usually come under the risk of postpartum depression. But because of my husband it didn't happen to me that time.
However, this doesn't mean I never had postpartum depression. I realized its presence when my husband left us, mother and son, at my in-laws place and returned back to Delhi. I was not alone but was feeling lonely. I was sleep deprived and mood swings made me feel worst. I didn't find anyone who could understand my feelings. Although my family members were trying to ease me but I needed a different approach for dealing with my inner self. And whenever anyone asked how I was feeling, my answers were, "I'm fine", "I’m okay. Everything’s great.", “Just little tired but I'm fine."
I lied and lied and lied my way through the darkest, tough time of depression. I was homesick and felt like running to my mother's place. I used to cry for my husband. I was more like a patient with painful stitches, sore breasts and tiredness. And I was responsible for advocating my own mental health and medical care. But the urge to appear like a strong mother dominated my desire for help, even though I have to pay for this. I refused to admit how much I was thrashed. I wanted my baby so much, but I was not aware of such emotions that would come along my baby. I needed a counselor or may be a doctor. But I knew that no one would understand why I needed a doctor when my baby was doing well.
With time things got okay leaving behind few dark days and few lessons for me. I understood three main points about postpartum depression:
1. Postpartum depression is natural and every mother faces it to some extent.
2. New mother should accept that this is not a permanent situation. This phase shall pass.
3. Key to come out of it is, "Speak". Share your feelings with others, with husband, family members. Let them understand what you are going through. 
I admit, this sounds like common sense, but it’s the hardest thing to do when you’re crawling through a tunnel of negativity. So for a new mother, faking her feelings never work and there is no reason to do this. Remember, "Postpartum depression is an illness that takes away a woman's ability to access joy..right at the time she needs it most." So tell the truth. Open up. You have to connect to the world again to break the desolation and distress around you. 
Listen This Post Stop Listening Post

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A few questions to Halloween party people of India

Ugly pumpkins, ridiculous costumes and over-the-top makeup, trick or treating for kids and scary themed parties for the adults, the story of Halloween runs deeply in the Western culture. And these days I have been observing a flood of Halloween posts in my social media accounts . "10 ideas to celebrate Halloween with your kids..", "10 craft projects for Halloween..", "10 things to do at Halloween night.." There are parties happening for Halloween. Costumes are getting sold. Myriads of contests are posting spooky pictures and asking to share even more ghostly pictures. And amidst all this, I am puzzled, baffled and tickled.

I don't know if this is the notion of globalization or a modest thought to adopt cultures regardless of the geographical borders. Howbeit, I am sure about one thing that I hate the idea of kids celebrating Halloween here in India.

I have a few questions in my mind that I humbly want to ask those Halloween party people:
How you are p…

#MyFriendAlexa - Is Your Blog For Everyone?

A Bit of Introduction 

Two months back, I joined a new company as a software project manager. And with this, I also shifted to a new city. I could not write much during this shifting time, as there were many other things that needed my attention on priority. With a new job, new city and a new house, I faced challenges of finding a new school for my kid, a new market where I can buy staple items and a new setup for my family which was in habit of living a comfortable life in Delhi. #MyFriendAlexa I took as an opportunity to proffer life back to my blog which was the most neglected entity of my world during this movement and adjustment span. My target is to write 8 posts for #MyFriendAlexa campaign in which 4 will make you a bit more compassionate person, and remaining 4 will make you more informed.

The First Post Of #MyFriendAlexa 

Coming back to the title of this post, I know you might be awed to read it. Of course, there is no discrimination who can read the blog and who not. Our blog…

The Sisters Bond

This post is for #SiblingStories blogging train hosted by Ila Varma in collaboration with the Brand Ang Tatva. Thirty three esteemed bloggers from blogging fraternity have joined hands to participate in the Blog train for #SiblingTalk reviving the sweet and tickling hours spent with loving siblings and revive golden memories of the past.

ABOUT ME
My name is Shipra and I am a working mother who is a part time blogger as well. I share my parenting experience through my blog and I also love to write about food, health and technology. Cartoon making is another thing I really enjoy and I own a cartoon series #VibhuAndPapa that you can find on Twitter. They are the funny conversation between my son and my husband. Work line wise, I am a software project manager who now a days is working on Digital Accessibility. My this year's #MyfriendAlexa post are about making our blogs accessible. Check them if you like to know more.

MY #SiblingStories
We are two sisters and with growing up together,…