Skip to main content

Are You a Tough Mom?

The more I meet with new age parents, the more I feel that in their houses, the kids are in charge, not the parents. Parents are living as per their children's routines. They worry so much about their children's self-esteem, their health, and their choices. They even worry whether or not their children like them. And the reason is clearly today's parenting prescriptions. If you are a parent who also belongs to the good old days when parents were the bosses and child rearing was not a democracy, you can understand why I feel today's parenting is making parents paralyzed.

My mother always was a tough parent and she is still, even when I am also a mother.  Denying my new stationary demands, denying half an hour extra while playing outside, denying my request for a piece of a pickle when she cooked Lauki in the dinner and even punishing me for not obeying her house rules. Clearly, she was the boss of the house. In my childhood, I always thought that she had been doing that intentionally. However, many of my myths got busted when I became a mother myself. As a child, I judged my own mother many times for many reasons. But now I feel apologetic for my foolishness. And whenever I get a chance, I let my mother know that she was RIGHT at every firm decision that she took for her children. At this moment, I feel very proud that my mother was a tough parent. It is because of her I am a successful person in life.

I also believe in taking tough calls for kids when needed. There has to be a balance of freedom and boundaries. And I don't expect my preschooler to understand all the time how my decision is good for him. I am giving him some time and I am sure someday down the line, he would for sure understand why I or his father took a particularly tough decision for him. (Just like I understood my mother after becoming a parent). My husband and I, both, believe that parents should be the bosses of the house. Until our son is mature enough to make decisions for himself, we have all the rights to decide what is best for him, even if it hurts him temporarily.

Parenting is not always about hearts, roses and cute cartoon prints. This is a real game and you need to take it seriously, rather than abdicating, delegating and surrendering. However, most of today's parenting rules don't support tough decisions taken by parents. In fact, at times it is important to be tough with your child for their betterment. Believe it or not, but most mothers are being judged for being tough with children. In many of the families, it is rooted so deep that mothers are set responsible for children's wrongdoing. And if a mother takes any tough decision, then also the extended family and even the father don't support that decision.

When I saw All Out's "Standby tough mom" advertisement for the first time, I found myself so connected to the message that this beautiful advertisement is trying to convey. This short film is a part of the campaign #StandByToughMoms that intends to raise awareness and encourage support of parents and the tough decisions they often need to make.

Most of the mothers do feel that they can take better decisions (than anyone in the family) for their kids as they are more involved in the lives of their children. However, when mothers take tough decisions by denying the illegitimate demands of children, or when mothers punish their children, they face a real persecution. Sometimes from outsiders but most of the times from their own family members. Many a times mothers get chided for our tough parenting ways but this is the real deal.A tough mother protects her children at any cost, even when it comes to facing criticism from her own family.

#StandByToughMoms is about giving support to all those mothers who get criticized for being ‘too hard’ on their kids. In fact, when a mother is being tough, she is protecting the next generation. So let us all #StandByToughMoms. Being a tough mother is good because tough mothers raise happier, healthier and more successful children.
Listen This Post Stop Listening Post

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Worshiping Krishna.. वसुदॆव सुतं दॆवं कंस चाणूर मर्दनम्..

Shri Krishna Ashtakam is a worshiping prayer devoted to Lord  Krishna praising his powers and glory. Ashtakam means a prayer which contains eight hymns(slokas). Each hymn or verse is composed of four phrases, each describing one quality or great acts of Sri Krishna. And, each sloka is composed in two lines. It is believed that krishnashtakam lyrics possess great powers. Here is the English translation of this holy verse : वसुदॆव सुतं दॆवं कंस चाणूर मर्दनम् । दॆवकी परमानन्दं कृष्णं वन्दॆ जगद्गुरुम् ॥1॥ Vasudeva Sutam Devam Kansa Chanura Mardanam... Devaki Paramanandam Krishnam Vande Jagadgurum.. I pay my tribute to the teacher of this world Krishna, who is the son of Vasudev, who killed Kansa and Chanura and who is the source of great joy to Devaki. अतसी पुष्प सङ्काशं हार नूपुर शॊभितम् ।रत्न कङ्कण कॆयूरं कृष्णं वन्दॆ जगद्गुरुम् ॥ |2| Atasi Pushpa Sankasham Hara Nupura Shobhitam..Ratna Kankana Keyuram Krishnam Vande Jagadgurum... I salute to the teacher of this world Krishna,

#TheWomanThatIAm #RRxMM I am not the woman who..

I am not the mother who.. I am not the mother who stayed longer with her newborn, I resumed office when he was barely 2 months old. I am not the mother who witnessed each of my kid's milestones, I got to know them when being told. I am not the mother who could tell breastfeeding stories, my child is a formula-fed gold. I am not the mother who keeps the house spotless, I let my son scatter toys and go overbold. I am not the mother who manages a detailed list for parenting chores, I often keep my to-dos on hold. I am not the mother whom people admire, I hear people calling me selfish and cold. ALSO I am a doting mother who tries to juggle between family and work every other minute.  I am a mother who watches silly cartoons with my boy.  I am a mother who repeatedly tells the same story every night.  I am a mother who cooks my son's favorite food every week.  And I am also a mother who is the closest person in my son's life! I am not the wife wh

My 'Invisible' Accomplishments #DecadeHop #RRxMM

As we entered 2020, through this post I am trying to contemplate the coolest, most daring, and most significant feats of my life during the last decade. Now the more I regress my memory, the more I feel there are two types of achievements or accomplishments that I can ponder upon; Visible and Invisible. Visible ones are those that I can count on my finger like a parrot and others can nod also. I got specs on, married to a not-so-romantic man, produced a baby, started writing and added good 17 kgs in my body volume (I was 50 in 2011). However, there are many invisible accomplishments too that either I know silently or very few can assert. From 2011 to 2019, Who am I now From a coy soul to now an outspoken woman, the trek was not easy. I achieved it. From being a no-makeup girl to now a lipstick swatches observer, the transition was tough. But it happened. And from being a sweet hater to now a sweet lover, the change was mysterious yet occurred. And now I can die for Gulab Jamuns.