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Are You a Tough Mom?

Are You A Tough Mom - Vibhu & Me
The more I meet with new age parents, the more I feel that in their houses, the kids are in charge, not the parents. Parents are living as per their children's routines. They worry so much about their children's self-esteem, their health, and their choices. They even worry whether or not their children like them. And the reason is clearly today's parenting prescriptions. If you are a parent who also belongs to the good old days when parents were the bosses and child rearing was not a democracy, you can understand why I feel today's parenting is making parents paralyzed.

My mother always was a tough parent and she is still, even when I am also a mother.  Denying my new stationary demands, denying half an hour extra while playing outside, denying my request for a piece of a pickle when she cooked Lauki in the dinner and even punishing me for not obeying her house rules. Clearly, she was the boss of the house. In my childhood, I always thought that she had been doing that intentionally. However, many of my myths got busted when I became a mother myself. As a child, I judged my own mother many times for many reasons. But now I feel apologetic for my foolishness. And whenever I get a chance, I let my mother know that she was RIGHT at every firm decision that she took for her children. At this moment, I feel very proud that my mother was a tough parent. It is because of her I am a successful person in life.

I also believe in taking tough calls for kids when needed. There has to be a balance of freedom and boundaries. And I don't expect my preschooler to understand all the time how my decision is good for him. I am giving him some time and I am sure someday down the line, he would for sure understand why I or his father took a particularly tough decision for him. (Just like I understood my mother after becoming a parent). My husband and I, both, believe that parents should be the bosses of the house. Until our son is mature enough to make decisions for himself, we have all the rights to decide what is best for him, even if it hurts him temporarily.

Parenting is not always about hearts, roses and cute cartoon prints. This is a real game and you need to take it seriously, rather than abdicating, delegating and surrendering. However, most of today's parenting rules don't support tough decisions taken by parents. In fact, at times it is important to be tough with your child for their betterment. Believe it or not, but most mothers are being judged for being tough with children. In many of the families, it is rooted so deep that mothers are set responsible for children's wrongdoing. And if a mother takes any tough decision, then also the extended family and even the father don't support that decision.

When I saw All Out's "Standby tough mom" advertisement for the first time, I found myself so connected to the message that this beautiful advertisement is trying to convey. This short film is a part of the campaign #StandByToughMoms that intends to raise awareness and encourage support of parents and the tough decisions they often need to make.

Most of the mothers do feel that they can take better decisions (than anyone in the family) for their kids as they are more involved in the lives of their children. However, when mothers take tough decisions by denying the illegitimate demands of children, or when mothers punish their children, they face a real persecution. Sometimes from outsiders but most of the times from their own family members. Many a times mothers get chided for our tough parenting ways but this is the real deal.A tough mother protects her children at any cost, even when it comes to facing criticism from her own family.

#StandByToughMoms is about giving support to all those mothers who get criticized for being ‘too hard’ on their kids. In fact, when a mother is being tough, she is protecting the next generation. So let us all #StandByToughMoms. Being a tough mother is good because tough mothers raise happier, healthier and more successful children.

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