Skip to main content

It's Okay to Lie to Your Child (Sometimes)

Do you lie to your kids? What lies do you tell? And do they really count as lies? 

Let me put an example here. "If you don't finish your food, you wouldn't be as tall as Papa". OR "If you hit your teddy, it will cry". For the first lie, I would say, it is partially true because eating food is important for our babies to grow up. However, even if our babies never eat a piece of Lauki, they will still probably grow big like their fathers. As per a research, lies are common among parents around the world. Point to be noted here is we teach our kids that lying is a bad thing, but we also believe it's okay to lie to them under certain circumstances. But do you think it is okay to lie to our babies? Are little white lies okay?

As a mother, I care what I am saying to my son and as a toddler what he is going to understand. So I am not always truthful and upfront with him. Every day when I make my tot sleep timely, I explain to him that next morning we have to catch our office bus and for that, he needs to sleep timely. Otherwise, we'll miss the bus. But at the same time, I tell him that all the babies of this world have slept so he should also sleep timely. The fact is, not all the kids sleep at 9 PM. Some of them stay longer. Some even sleep at this time. Then we have lie versus a probability. "If you jump from the bed, you'll hurt yourself and then you need to take distasteful medicine and injection." There is for sure a chance the kid may fall and will hurt his head and yet another chance he might end up in taking injection but it’s not a fact. Don’t forget Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. Or the Tooth Fairy?

I remember an old story about telling the truth bluntly. A king called a few astrologers in his darbaar and asked one of them to read horoscope about his future. The astrologer studied the position of planets and consulted the Shastras and finally gave his verdict:Maharaja, all your relatives will die before you, you will perform their funerals with your own hands. Hearing this, the king became furious as he was very much attached to his relatives and could not tolerate such a verdict. The king immediately ordered that the poor astrologer should be given imprisonment for life. Then the king asked another astrologer same thing. He found that the previous astrologer’s readings were absolutely correct. So, he tactfully put the same truth the other way round. He said:Maharaja, you have a very long life. You will live longer than all your relatives. This also meant that all his relatives would die while the king was alive. The king was highly pleased with the astrologer and gave him lots of money and precious things just because his way of putting the truth was delightful.

Therefore it is said that even while telling the truth, one should tell it in a pleasant manner. A truth should not be told in a way that will hurt the feelings of others. If it is told so, it is identical to untruth only. Your speech should be truthful yet pleasant and beneficial. I do believe we should be raising our kids to understand honesty and importance of telling the truth. Because it feels good with honestly and they know they are doing the right thing. After all, we don’t want to teach our kids to lie which will turn into miserable things in their lives. But sometimes the truth is stretched to bring smiles on our kids’ faces or to make our lives a little easier.

I feel lying can at times creates magic for our kids. It can make them stop crying even after getting hurt. Changing the truth can make them feel joyful even when they created a mess. How can we refrain ourselves witnessing sparkling eyes of our kids when Santa Claus puts a gift for them? Everything has its time in our kids’ lives and someday for sure, we can explain to them that accidents can actually kill people or any other harsh reality of life. But till they are kids, let them be like kids.
So, is little lying really a bad thing? I don't think so..
Listen This Post Stop Listening Post

Comments

  1. I admit I have lied a few times but I try consciously not to. Not sure how long I will be able to hold on..hehe.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think we all lie many times with our kids. Sometimes to make them eat something new or to protect them from some thing. It's ok if it is for their benefit and if it does not have many implications.

    ReplyDelete
  3. My mother in law keeps telling my son that whenever he lies she is able to see two red lines on his forehead. He really believes her and I don't mind !

    ReplyDelete
  4. I think if parents lie about certain things like you mentioned, santa claus or tooth fairy etc. its okay. These are not going to harm our kids in any way. But as they grow we should be careful as they follow parents in everything.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Well, now that’s an interesting topic !
    Loved the way you have captured yet another aspect of parenting!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My Monsoon Love Hate Love Story

Last year, almost the same time, I packed every belonging of mine and landed to a place which is close to my heart. With bag and baggage, my family moved from Delhi to Lucknow. It was monsoon time when I came here and thank god I witnessed a prosperous rain. Lucknow, though smaller compared to Delhi, is a place I distinguish since childhood. The city of Nawabs is believed as the happiest city in India. As our move was well calculated, my husband and I made sure to have all those things in our lives that I missed being in Delhi. A bigger house (that we can afford), green surroundings, street food access that we missed in Delhi and people who talk in our native tongue.

The Hate Story

I hated the rain when I was in Delhi. My house was in a busy lane of a crowded Delhi locality, and I was living on the second floor of the building. Hence neither I had easy access to the road, nor to terrace. When it rained, I was forced to stay inside. Roads used to get sunk even after the rain of half an…

#TheWomanThatIAm #RRxMM I am not the woman who..

I am not the mother who..
I am not the mother who stayed longer with her newborn, I resumed office when he was barely 2 months old. I am not the mother who witnessed each of my kid's milestones, I got to know them when being told. I am not the mother who could tell breastfeeding stories, my child is a formula-fed gold. I am not the mother who keeps the house spotless, I let my son scatter toys and go overbold. I am not the mother who manages a detailed list for parenting chores, I often keep my to-dos on hold. I am not the mother whom people admire, I hear people calling me selfish and cold.
ALSO I am a doting mother who tries to juggle between family and work every other minute.  I am a mother who watches silly cartoons with my boy.  I am a mother who repeatedly tells the same story every night.  I am a mother who cooks my son's favorite food every week.  And I am also a mother who is the closest person in my son's life!
I am not the wife who..
I am not the wife who has her biological…

My 'Invisible' Accomplishments #DecadeHop #RRxMM

As we entered 2020, through this post I am trying to contemplate the coolest, most daring, and most significant feats of my life during the last decade. Now the more I regress my memory, the more I feel there are two types of achievements or accomplishments that I can ponder upon; Visible and Invisible. Visible ones are those that I can count on my finger like a parrot and others can nod also. I got specs on, married to a not-so-romantic man, produced a baby, started writing and added good 17 kgs in my body volume (I was 50 in 2011). However, there are many invisible accomplishments too that either I know silently or very few can assert.

From 2011 to 2019, Who am I now

From a coy soul to now an outspoken woman, the trek was not easy. I achieved it. From being a no-makeup girl to now a lipstick swatches observer, the transition was tough. But it happened. And from being a sweet hater to now a sweet lover, the change was mysterious yet occurred. And now I can die for Gulab Jamuns. And I…