Almost all of us put a surname after our names and for many
of us our surname becomes our identity before many around us like I am called
as “pandey ji” by many of my friends
and followers and even I call many people by their surnames. This surname is
really helpful in some cases of identity making. The most helpful case with use
of surname I have ever noted was when there were 4 girls named as Puja in our
class and we used to recognize them as Puja Singh, Puja Awasthi, Puja Mittal and
Puja Verma 😊.
If
we would ever become free from this surname culture, I believe a more united
world is possible. More unity and less division means lesser differences and
lesser conflicts. Lesser conflicts means more peace and more peace is good for
all of us. Isn’t that?
Despite such big help I have experienced, I find the surname
culture really dividing and antagonistic. Afterall our surnames decide our
casts and religion. I have noted people offering favors to surname-sake like Mishra ji is expected to help Mishra ji and Chopra ji expected to help Chopra
ji. I have a facebook friend who bears the same surname as mine, following me
on twitter, may seem to many people my close relative. People of same surname
appear to fruits of same tree and thus others may be just others for them. Surnames
are also symbols of status sometimes, when people address themselves as the
son of great Oberoi family, and what to say when your name bears a surname that
is common with an eminent personality like the Prime Minister. From Modi Sandal
soap to Modi University, all have got their names re-polished with the
popularity building of PM Modi.
I also dislike this surname culture as we ladies are
supposed to change our surnames after marriage. This is kind of unfair in my
view. I mean why are ladies given any surname and they are supposed to change
it later on. Anyways this is not mandatory by law so I have not attempted this.
But otherwise it would have changed me from one person to another.
I am not calling for an end of putting surnames, as I know
this is kind of not possible, we have been using it for long and will keep
using it for even longer. Phunsukh Wangdu and Ranchod das Chanchad could also
have been not so entertaining then. But just imagine we have just names and no
surnames. Just like flowers, Rose is Rose, Lavender is Lavender, Lotus is
Lotus; not Rose Tiwari, Lavender Sharma or Lotus Dixit. Even Gods don’t bear
any surnames; see Shiv ji is Shiv ji, Vishnu ji is Vishnu ji and despite being
the son of Shiv ji, Ganesh ji has his own name and fame separate from his father
Shiv ji. I believe this keeps their powers and mysticism isolated. One who has
prayed Vishnu ji also prays to Goddess Laxmi separately and see she does not
bear any surname carried by her husband. She has her own importance and powers,
hence, it is important to keep her identity separate. Though people relate Ram ji with Kshatriya
cast and Krishna Ji with Yadav cast, we don’t take their names adding with any
surname, Do we?
The surname is also determined by one of the parents, that
is father’s name, for a child despite that mothers carry the child since
conception, the surname is allotted on the paternal side.
Hahah very interesting topic. I haven't changed my name on documents. Only on Facebook. 😂😂
ReplyDeleteThanks. On Facebook people really wait to see your name changed after marriage.. I know.
DeleteI so agree with what you have written. My dad uses Singh and I use Kaur. Our real surname Oberoi has never been used my any of us. On paper, we have no surnames. That slot is empty. But unfortunately, could not do that with Karma though I wish I had taken a stand.
ReplyDeleteI am glad to know this dear that people like you take a stand as far as possible. Kaur is a really nice surname you know it means courageous.. Guru sahab decided to give this surname to all women of their community
DeleteI've been so tired of being called 'Dua' all my life. It's so hardwired that I haven't been able to take up my husbands name post marriage!! Ha ha..The world needs to change :)
ReplyDeleteYes darling the world needs to change.. Btw this name dua is really nice.. :)
DeleteHa ha you got me lol today with this post. My mother always discuss this topic with me though i never stood for it.
ReplyDeleteI know many of us feel like this and I am glad I could give it my voice.
DeleteWonderful Blog Shipra. I did not change my name.. so much jamela you see!
ReplyDeleteDon't change if you don't feel like changing it. It is your identity. :)
DeleteWonderful post. I never changed my surname but added husbands to mine after marriage
ReplyDeleteThat's cool..
DeleteI never thought of not changing my surname after marriage but your post did get me thinking.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your views dear. It is just something that some of us feel like. if this has an urge to you, think of making names not surnames.. I think the future needs us to take this stand.
Delete