"The Terrible Two's" How I Am Handling Them..

A few days back I was telling my husband that our toddler made me feel insulted in front of everyone in my office cafeteria. Actually what happened, one day we both mother and son were heading to the cafeteria for having our breakfast. The passage is also having lifts which many other employees were using. My 2.5 year old saw them and immediately tried to break free and rush inside a lift. I stopped him and forcefully carried him as he was trying hard to get his hand free. And then his anger came out! He pulled my hair, scratched me on my face and shouted to show his temper tantrum. Many of my office friends were witnessing this drama and everyone was like “Ye Vibhu ko hua kya hai..”

These days we both, husband and wife, are going through a phase we called “The terrible twos”. Many of the times, without any big reason, our son gets dissolved into howling puddle of misery. We try our best to distract him from the very reason of his temper but it takes time to bring his good mood back. His temperament is rebellious and his silly crying make his parents feel "har baat par rona aur jid karna hota hai ese.."

However, I have been observing my tot’s attitude for quite a while and found that few small tricks work for me to manage the stage:

• His tantrum was high when he was sleepy, hungry or bored. When  I made him eat something, spot was better then. Parents can anticipate these outbursts by paying attention to their kid’s nonverbal cues and reactions to various situations. Give kids their favorite snack, settle them down for a nap or play something new with them. It works!

• Many times, my son was wailing because he wanted to go out of the house and I was busy to take him out. At times toddlers want to feel independence and want to enjoy other’s company. So parents can take kids on walks, or allow them to safely run around outside. In my case, my boy loves to go to neighbors so to make him happy, I let him go to neighbor’s place or my husband takes him out.

• With deep thinking, I realized that my son’s behavior in public doesn’t make me a bad parent. What I did to manage that kiddy violent situation (which I mentioned above) was, I took him to a corner where no one was sitting. Although he was crying, I hugged him and asked him if he wanted to eat or watch his favorite video. Slowly he started replying me and we both felt better. Public tantrums can happen but people do understand. Most of them don’t judge you.

• Giving in on kid’s demand make them throw more tantrums. It’s important to remain calm and smile so that your kids get the idea of you being fine with their temper. Sometimes, ignoring your kid without making eye contact works best. This I mostly do :)  This will ensure you are not reinforcing bad behavior.

• Most importantly, do understand that tantrums are normal for the development every kid goes through and will decrease with time. We think two years old is tantrumy. Well, even sixteen years old teen can also be opinionated. However, two years old is better in terms of telling you what he/she wants. Honestly, teens are more difficult to understand and care.

After the period of anger or temper, it is very crucial to let you kid understand that his/her behavior was odd and he/she needs to change his/her way of expression. Toddlers need guidance during their best mood to grasp it quickly and easily. Just reassure your toddler that you love him/her, then move on to the next activity.

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