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Showing posts from December, 2016

Revisiting year 2016 - Fashion now has new faces - Acid attack survivors

Acid attacks on women happen all over the world. They are brutal in a peculiar sense because the attacker aims not to kill the victim but to disfigure her and kill her soul. Attackers indulge in this frightful crime and force the victim to live a life of suffering if she survives. In our country, the cases stand out despite the existence of laws and directives to prevent the horrific crime. Even cases involving throwing acid have been on the rise. And here attacks follow a pattern.In an analysis of cases, it has been found that 35% of the incidents cited rejection of marriage or refusal by women.Acid attacks not only physically hurt victims but bring a social isolation that compounds the trauma. However, in this year 2016, I came to read many of the acid attack survivor’s stories which are so powerful and inspiring.

I never heard or had seen how those women face the challenges of their further life which are full of hatred and criticism. But in this year 2016, I found many such women …

The Lost Art of Letter Writing..

Do you remember the last time when you wrote a letter to someone? Honestly, I can't tell when the last time I wrote a personal letter to someone. My last written communication was in the year 2009 when something was wrong with my SBI account and I wrote an application to the branch manager regarding that. But it's been 7 long years since I have not used pen and paper for writing anything thoughtful as a letter! Why am I tossing around letter writing? Because recently I got a chance to listen to a lady who made me realize that nothing can replace letter writing, although we now have better new age communication mediums like email, texting, Facebook and more.


The lady, Laxmi, is a social entrepreneur and most importantly a family person. She shared that she traveled countries to countries for many years because of her work needs. And during these years, she couldn't meet her aging father with much of time. However, her father did an amazing thing in last two years of his life…

How to be productive in office?

“Productivity” We corporate people hear this word every now and then. We are always asked to push towards giving more productivity. But simple it looks; productivity is a hard nut to crack. Productivity is not about working complete 8 hours of the day without taking any breaks. Or stretching your day beyond regular 8 hours and making other envious. Productivity is giving our best in working hours. Having said that, I also believe in having a few extra hours where we can think about just us. But the question is from where those extra hours will come?

With best of my understanding and experience of 8 years in IT sector, I have a suggestion.  Start your morning on the productive note and by the end of the day, you’ll have at least an hour for yourself. And this absolutely doesn’t mean skipping those short coffee and tea breaks. You can take them and still can enjoy a productive day.
Rule 1. Don’t check your email until it’s necessary: Many of us have a habit of checking email as they get …

I am ready to change my name now

The number of women changing their names after marriage is decreasing and this is what I have observed.  I also kept my name. Among my friends, only a few of them have changed their surnames after getting married. It’s no surprise I kept my last name. These days, changing the name is clashing with the idea of having own space and identity for modern women. And naturally, I never liked the way women seemed to disappear into their husband’s name. When I got married, I was at the peak of my career. I was dreaming about going out of India and even about settling down in the US. Changing my surname was going to add little paper and official work (affidavit for PAN card, driving license, bank document and passport etc) for us. While registering our marriage when asked the name of the wife, my husband said “Shipra Pandey”. Yes, it’s my original name. Since then, we are man and wife with different surnames.  Although, there was no confusion ever that our kid(s) are going to take their father’…

Emotional weight of being a wife

A few days back, I had a fight with my husband. And as always happens, after a couple of counter arguments, I had to stop. The fight was then dominated by my better half and eventually I was in tears. It’s being four years, I am trying to understand him but I failed and the cost was always very painful. During our heated talks, he asked me if I know the meaning of being a wife. Since then this question is hitting me till deep. Am I not a wife (good or bad is next thing)? Am I not somebody with whom he wants to spend his life? Am I having some problem which is hindering me from being a wife (at least)?
As my profession gives handy, I googled this question, “What is being a wife?” And I found most of the answers/blogs/posts about this topic are written by women writers. The first page of my search result was full of advice from female audience and almost all of them suggest that women need to do more. Butone thing surprised me that there was no such post in which any male has given sugge…

My boy is growing up so fast..

When I faced my family members after delivering my boy, the first thing I heard was “Beta maa pr gaya hai..” It was always being told by many of my known ones that little boys love their mumas so much.  This made me think about a parenting quote “There’s nothing like the bond between a mother and son.” Although the idea that boys love their mothers differently than girls is both silly and a little gender discriminating, but l accepted it as being a lucky woman who gave birth to a healthy baby. And the baby is by chance a boy. I have no brother and because of that, I was really unaware of how it feels to see a boy growing in front of you. I only remember how my younger sister grew with me. May be that is the reason I am blessed with a boy so that I could understand what is the depth of relation between a mother and a son, a father and a son and a boy and his siblings.
Amazingly after my boy joined the daycare (in my office), we have come so close to each other. This might be confusing …

People, please don't say or do these things to a pregnant woman

I still remember the weirdest question that I have been repeatedly asked by others when I was pregnant. “Are you carrying twins?”  This question always embarrassed me and even made me furious at times. When I was in my cool vibes, I took it as a normal way of talking to a pregnant lady. But when I was not in my best mood, I felt offended. “Do I look that big? Twins, are you serious?”  This inappropriate question (at least I think so) was asked by even a lady doctor who did my 8th month’s ultrasound.  I admit I was big, sweaty, and crabby but was that really necessary to make a pregnant lady think that she was FAT?
There are other things which people around me (mostly my office mates) did and I hated that. Still, I was really lucky that those incidences were very few.  Some of my (girl) friends used to touch my belly and ask how my baby was doing. I know their intentions were good but I found that really unreasonable. This belly touching was only allowed and authorized for my husband. H…

Are we expecting too much from our marriages?

Have you ever felt that your spouse is not the one you wished for? Don’t get me wrong but it’s normal to think that what we expect from our spouses is never getting fulfilled or the percentage is very low. The majority of the couples, who fought for getting married, eventually find themselves disappointed with marriage. And if you ask any honest married person to estimate the number of those that find themselves disappointed with matrimony, this will be closer to 100%. That’s because no matter how compatible our spouse is or how prepared we feel for our wedding, it is natural to experience a discrepancy between what we hoped marriage would be and what it actually is. But why expectations are too high? Why we feel disappointed?
Over the years the relationship between a husband and a wife has been stretched so much. Which means they have started expecting way higher than it can be executed. Hopes from marriages in the time of my mother or grandmother was not like what we have today. Thos…

I stand up for the National Anthem. And I also stand by SC's order.

After reading so many blogs and post which are condemning supreme court‘s order that the national anthem must be played inside all movie theaters, across the country, I want to convey my thoughts in support of this order. On this Wednesday, November 30, SC of India passed the verdict on a petition filed by Bhopal’s Shyam Narayan Chouski, who is an ex-army person, alleged the misuse of the anthem in TV shows and movies. The court also stated that everyone should respect our national anthem and its commercialization and dramatization on objectionable stuff should be stopped. "When the national anthem is played it is imperative for everyone to show honor and respect. It would instill a sense of committed patriotism and nationalism," said the judges. I believe respecting the national anthem or our flag is respecting the idea of being an Indian. When I was in school, I was taught that standing for the national anthem is giving honor to our freedom fighters who sacrificed their liv…