Skip to main content

We are raising our girls to be perfect and we are raising our boys to be brave!

I am a working woman and I work for an IT company. Last year in November, I joined a new project which is kind of based on cutting edge IT technologies. After 15 days happened a top level meeting in which all senior people like managers, account heads, and super bosses were invited. During the discussion, one of the senior members asked for summarizing the work that my team had been doing since last 15 days. I noticed for 2 minutes no one answered the question and my manager was really upset seeing the dumbness of the whole team. I started answering the question to best of my knowledge. Honestly, I was nervous and fearful. It was my first interaction with top level people and I was not sure if they were buying my explanation. I tried my best and then the meeting went forward with other topics. After the meeting got over, my account head came to me and said “It was a great reply. Thank you for briefing everyone.” I was so relieved and even happy. It was a bold step for me because I did not have the complete details about the work of my team but I took this question when no one picked it up and I was able to hit it. Then my account head asked me few more questions which I was not able to answer (because of their gray nature). However, I was satisfied that just one bold step made him recognize me out of 25-30 people.
You might not seem interested in understanding what was happening at my office. But the point I want to put here is as a woman I faced the situation bravely battling my fearful mind. I told this story because this is a daring step of my life, out of the very limited bold steps that I have taken in my life so far. This was the first time when I didn’t try to be PERFECT. I have seen many women around me who are working in professions in which they are perfect and they don’t want to change it. I have such female friends who refrain from changing the technology of their work because they fear for not being perfect in that. The reason is obvious. It’s because of they way most of the girls are raised!
Most girls since their childhood are taught to avoid risk and failures. They are taught to smile pretty and place safe. Their parents want to keep them safe inside the boundaries of their home. So generally girls are always cautious about being perfect. Perfect grades, perfect school, perfect outfits and importantly perfect makeup. Girls even want a perfect husband and a perfect life.  Boys on the other side are mostly taught to be tough, rough and are encouraged to face challenges. Boys believe in fixing things, perfection is not their first goal. Mismatched clothes, lower grades and challenging tasks, boys are happy in any situation. By the time they are adults, they master in handling the unknown, awkward and fearful situations. They get habituated to take risk after risk. And they even get the benefit of taking risks.
My mother always taught me the best way to stop a heated argument is keeping ourselves mum. “EK chup Hazar preshania talti hai “. But I now feel she was wrong when she taught this to me and my sister. It eventually made me a reserved and little introvert. Unintentionally parents are making their girls weaker with over protecting them and teaching them to win always. In other words, we are raising our girls to be perfect and we are raising our boys to be brave. This bravery deficit is the reason for women not being 'that' successful in life and relationships which obviously they can. And studies have proved it. Girls are outperforming in every course and exam. Still, women reaching the top levels are very few. So it’s not the question of ability. It is more about how boys and girls approach a challenge of their lives. Women because of their upbringing are always overly cautious. And even if they are ambitious, they want to take fewer risks which ultimately lead them to saturation in terms of success.
All I want to say is our girls need to socialize to be brave instead of socialize to be perfect. This is high time, change is needed for the benefit of our girls in this competing world.
Thanks to Reshma Saujani's TED Talk upon which this blog is based.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A few questions to Halloween party people of India

Ugly pumpkins, ridiculous costumes and over-the-top makeup, trick or treating for kids and scary themed parties for the adults, the story of Halloween runs deeply in the Western culture. And these days I have been observing a flood of Halloween posts in my social media accounts . "10 ideas to celebrate Halloween with your kids..", "10 craft projects for Halloween..", "10 things to do at Halloween night.." There are parties happening for Halloween. Costumes are getting sold. Myriads of contests are posting spooky pictures and asking to share even more ghostly pictures. And amidst all this, I am puzzled, baffled and tickled.

I don't know if this is the notion of globalization or a modest thought to adopt cultures regardless of the geographical borders. Howbeit, I am sure about one thing that I hate the idea of kids celebrating Halloween here in India.

I have a few questions in my mind that I humbly want to ask those Halloween party people:
How you are p…

#MyFriendAlexa - Is Your Blog For Everyone?

A Bit of Introduction 

Two months back, I joined a new company as a software project manager. And with this, I also shifted to a new city. I could not write much during this shifting time, as there were many other things that needed my attention on priority. With a new job, new city and a new house, I faced challenges of finding a new school for my kid, a new market where I can buy staple items and a new setup for my family which was in habit of living a comfortable life in Delhi. #MyFriendAlexa I took as an opportunity to proffer life back to my blog which was the most neglected entity of my world during this movement and adjustment span. My target is to write 8 posts for #MyFriendAlexa campaign in which 4 will make you a bit more compassionate person, and remaining 4 will make you more informed.

The First Post Of #MyFriendAlexa 

Coming back to the title of this post, I know you might be awed to read it. Of course, there is no discrimination who can read the blog and who not. Our blog…

Be Healthy With Infused Water And InstaCuppa #SuperBloggerChallenge2018 #Instacuppa

Two things are in my mind mostly these days: Having a healthy Lifestyle and Staying Happy.
Happiness and good health are very much connected to each other, isn't it? If you are happy your health remains good. And if you are healthy, you keep on increasing your happiness. The easiest trick to stay healthy is to have a good water intake every day. However, as simple as it looks, for most of the people, drinking sufficient water every day is a task. They somehow ignore this very essential need of the human body. Every single cell in our body needs water to function properly. The result of less water intake is eventual dehydration, dull face, fatigue, bloating and weak immune system.

Can drinking water help you stay healthy? Spoiler alert, YES IT CAN!

Now, if you are bored of having the plane, tasteless water, then you must know about INFUSED WATER. Infused water is adding different kinds of fruit, vegetables, and herbs to water and letting it settle for some time. This way, all antiox…