Skip to main content

Mommy tantrum,How you handle it?

My 2-year-old was doing something with his Lego set. 
Suddenly he started scattering them around.
“Vibhu, don’t throw them” I said in a polite tone.
He ignored what I said and continued doing the same thing.
Some of the parts were behind the bed, some inside it and some of them were on the floor.
“Vibhu, ENOUGH, stop playing”. I shrieked in my loudest most threatening voice. I collected them all, put inside the box and placed the box where my son couldn’t reach.
My toddler began to cry and I realized I was completely boiling over when I did this. 
This is always said that Parenting is the most stressful yet rewarding job. But I want to meet the person who first said that because many times our rewards are hard to come by. My son is growing very fast and the level of patience test keeps on getting harder for me. Interestingly my parenting stress doesn’t come from my son at times, but from trying to balance everything. I want to get ready quickly in the morning but my son is in the mood of playing. I want him to sit calm and play with his toys whereas he wants to scatter them without the intention of playing. Like so, I can give many examples where I want to balance my toddler's behavior and my expectations. And these are the moments when I hit an intolerable stress moment. The result is, I yell even I know that I should not, but it happens!
I read somewhere that these are symptoms of Mommy tantrum. When mothers scream, yell and show their frustration in front of kids. But is this a NO NO? It's because we love our kids so much that they are able to provoke such strong feelings of anger in us. Some of us feel guilty that we yelled over kids. Some even feel worse and suffocated because they couldn't release their anger-mix feelings out. But my thinking is little different from those philosophies which assume parents wrong if they yell. I am sorry to differ to those psychologists who say that yelling is usually a sign that a parent has no strategy to deal with tough situations. If we flip out and have a tantrum in front of our kid, I think it's okay. We are human with human emotions and mind. We all deal with situations differently. What matters is how we handle it from that moment on.
To me, it’s a learning moment when I lose it over my son and later I think about it. I go and say sorry to my son, and I have not one bit of shame about it. He is still immature to understand the locus but my plan is I would avoid such situations in future but if it happens I would try to explain it to my son. I know I should take steps to break on my Mama Tantrum. But I am going with a brand new solution for this problem. I don't feel guilty and I don't kill myself because I struggled with furious angry thoughts. I believe in explaining the consequences to doing certain things to my son and I do it to my level best. The reality is, I don’t suddenly feel excited to hang out with him after a stressful moment. And I don’t want to be a “fun mother” who never yells. But those bitter moments I redeem with giving chocolates to my son, or asking him if he wants his Frooty, or if he wants to go outside. Things immediately change and by the time I return with his favourite things, he has already forgotten about my tantrum.
Have you had a Mommy tantrum? How you deal with it?
Listen This Post Stop Listening Post

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A few questions to Halloween party people of India

Ugly pumpkins, ridiculous costumes and over-the-top makeup, trick or treating for kids and scary themed parties for the adults, the story of Halloween runs deeply in the Western culture. And these days I have been observing a flood of Halloween posts in my social media accounts . "10 ideas to celebrate Halloween with your kids..", "10 craft projects for Halloween..", "10 things to do at Halloween night.." There are parties happening for Halloween. Costumes are getting sold. Myriads of contests are posting spooky pictures and asking to share even more ghostly pictures. And amidst all this, I am puzzled, baffled and tickled.

I don't know if this is the notion of globalization or a modest thought to adopt cultures regardless of the geographical borders. Howbeit, I am sure about one thing that I hate the idea of kids celebrating Halloween here in India.

I have a few questions in my mind that I humbly want to ask those Halloween party people:
How you are p…

The Sisters Bond

This post is for #SiblingStories blogging train hosted by Ila Varma in collaboration with the Brand Ang Tatva. Thirty three esteemed bloggers from blogging fraternity have joined hands to participate in the Blog train for #SiblingTalk reviving the sweet and tickling hours spent with loving siblings and revive golden memories of the past.

ABOUT ME
My name is Shipra and I am a working mother who is a part time blogger as well. I share my parenting experience through my blog and I also love to write about food, health and technology. Cartoon making is another thing I really enjoy and I own a cartoon series #VibhuAndPapa that you can find on Twitter. They are the funny conversation between my son and my husband. Work line wise, I am a software project manager who now a days is working on Digital Accessibility. My this year's #MyfriendAlexa post are about making our blogs accessible. Check them if you like to know more.

MY #SiblingStories
We are two sisters and with growing up together,…

My Monsoon Love Hate Love Story

Last year, almost the same time, I packed every belonging of mine and landed to a place which is close to my heart. With bag and baggage, my family moved from Delhi to Lucknow. It was monsoon time when I came here and thank god I witnessed a prosperous rain. Lucknow, though smaller compared to Delhi, is a place I distinguish since childhood. The city of Nawabs is believed as the happiest city in India. As our move was well calculated, my husband and I made sure to have all those things in our lives that I missed being in Delhi. A bigger house (that we can afford), green surroundings, street food access that we missed in Delhi and people who talk in our native tongue.

The Hate Story

I hated the rain when I was in Delhi. My house was in a busy lane of a crowded Delhi locality, and I was living on the second floor of the building. Hence neither I had easy access to the road, nor to terrace. When it rained, I was forced to stay inside. Roads used to get sunk even after the rain of half an…