Skip to main content

Let's CurbThese Parenting Myths

I became a mother 2 years ago and since then I have been reading about “good parenting”. Every now and then I thought about this prefix “good” here. My parents never read any article or any blog for how they should raise their daughters; however, I always say that they are good parents, because I and my sister never found them wrong anywhere.
A few months back I wrote an article that we should correct kids at the very first time when they make mistake and I was astonished to see negative comments about my thoughts. People said that parents should not scold kids, this can hurt them emotionally and make them rebel. My mother has scolded me many times in my childhood but I am not spoiled!
I now find myself surrounded by so many unwritten rules and guidelines of parenting. And as per my feelings, they are simply myths. Have a look at few of them:
Myth 1. Parents should have control over kid’s behavior:  My kid has a habit of picking biscuits from guest’s plate and I never get ashamed of his action. It doesn’t mean that I am doing something wrong because I can’t disciple him. Honestly, I can’t control his behavior all the time. And if I am yelling at him,it’s not an incorrect way of parenting. It’s my way, it’s unique and best suited for my family. We, parents, can’t teach everything to our kids since very early age. We should give some time and space to our kids to be kids. I don't see any problem in scolding kids when needed but we should refrain from controlling their creative minds. 
Myth 2. There are parenting experts to help other parents: These days parents don’t want to make any mistake so they read right parenting books, join parenting discussions, follow mummy bloggers and seek advice on different parenting sites. In this deep sea of content, they for sure get the solution of their problems. But with due respect to parenting experts, how can they tell anyone how to raise their kids? Every family is different, their circumstances are diverse and every kid is unique. So no one can give a solution of anyone’s problem mare reading a few lines of problem statement. Every parent is expert these days so we should not underestimate ourselves. 
Myth 3. Kid’s success and failure define parents: Really? If my son doesn’t get good marks, it never means I am not rearing him well. I don’t know how people start connecting kid’s success and failure with parent’s abilities. If a kid is winning a medal, other parents start establishing a relationship with his parents considering this can improve their situation as well. On the other side, if a child is getting fewer marks, parents refrain talking to his parents thinking them ignorant about their child. No matter if a kid is super talented or an average achiever, we parents only can help and guide him/her, what he/she does is always their personal aptness.
Myth 4. Parents can never do enough: Even though it is told that parents have all the powers, they are always in the impression of doing not enough for their kids. Many of the parents live with a pervasive sense of inadequacy. The insecurity forces them to compete with others, to see our peers' shortcomings as a signs of their superiority, and vice versa. But as parents, we always try to give best to our kids and we need to believe that that is sufficient for living a happy, healthy life. Today I saw a tweet from Genelia Deshmukh (Indian Actress, who is now a mother of two kids) "Sometimes giving your 100% also makes u feel like your not doing in enough". Even she is feeling guilty of doing not enough. But what an answer given my his husband, Ritesh Deshmukh "When you feel 100% is not enough... you know you are a Mother." Really, we can’t give stars and the moon to our kids but what fits in our scope of parenting is always ample. 
And I believe if our kids are safe, successful or happy, it is tangible evidence of our parenting success.
Listen This Post Stop Listening Post

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

#TheWomanThatIAm #RRxMM I am not the woman who..

I am not the mother who..
I am not the mother who stayed longer with her newborn, I resumed office when he was barely 2 months old. I am not the mother who witnessed each of my kid's milestones, I got to know them when being told. I am not the mother who could tell breastfeeding stories, my child is a formula-fed gold. I am not the mother who keeps the house spotless, I let my son scatter toys and go overbold. I am not the mother who manages a detailed list for parenting chores, I often keep my to-dos on hold. I am not the mother whom people admire, I hear people calling me selfish and cold.
ALSO I am a doting mother who tries to juggle between family and work every other minute.  I am a mother who watches silly cartoons with my boy.  I am a mother who repeatedly tells the same story every night.  I am a mother who cooks my son's favorite food every week.  And I am also a mother who is the closest person in my son's life!
I am not the wife who..
I am not the wife who has her biological…

My 'Invisible' Accomplishments #DecadeHop #RRxMM

As we entered 2020, through this post I am trying to contemplate the coolest, most daring, and most significant feats of my life during the last decade. Now the more I regress my memory, the more I feel there are two types of achievements or accomplishments that I can ponder upon; Visible and Invisible. Visible ones are those that I can count on my finger like a parrot and others can nod also. I got specs on, married to a not-so-romantic man, produced a baby, started writing and added good 17 kgs in my body volume (I was 50 in 2011). However, there are many invisible accomplishments too that either I know silently or very few can assert.

From 2011 to 2019, Who am I now

From a coy soul to now an outspoken woman, the trek was not easy. I achieved it. From being a no-makeup girl to now a lipstick swatches observer, the transition was tough. But it happened. And from being a sweet hater to now a sweet lover, the change was mysterious yet occurred. And now I can die for Gulab Jamuns. And I…

My Monsoon Love Hate Love Story

Last year, almost the same time, I packed every belonging of mine and landed to a place which is close to my heart. With bag and baggage, my family moved from Delhi to Lucknow. It was monsoon time when I came here and thank god I witnessed a prosperous rain. Lucknow, though smaller compared to Delhi, is a place I distinguish since childhood. The city of Nawabs is believed as the happiest city in India. As our move was well calculated, my husband and I made sure to have all those things in our lives that I missed being in Delhi. A bigger house (that we can afford), green surroundings, street food access that we missed in Delhi and people who talk in our native tongue.

The Hate Story

I hated the rain when I was in Delhi. My house was in a busy lane of a crowded Delhi locality, and I was living on the second floor of the building. Hence neither I had easy access to the road, nor to terrace. When it rained, I was forced to stay inside. Roads used to get sunk even after the rain of half an…