Skip to main content

Who should go for permanent birth prevention, Husband or Wife?

After becoming parents for the first time, the very common question we face is "When you are planning next?" Contrary, at the end of day every couple thinks about not to have any more children. Some of you may not agree with me but at-least we both, husband-wife, feel this way. Our son is 17 months old and we are always on toes in completing our parenting duties. Being a working couple our life is hectic and every other moment we have to priorities things of life. We fear that managing life with two small kids could be juggling. So bringing a new member in our family would be a super serious step. That’s why we often thought to go for a permanent birth control process. But in a committed relationship, who should get snipped when both husband-wife don't want to have any more children?
20-30 years back this question had an obvious answer. Even if the man definitely does not want any more children, the woman should get her tubes tied. But now I expect a different treatment for this question from new age couples. Today when fathers and mothers, both are equality contributing to well being of their kids, permanent birth prevention is one such topic which they toss around every other day. They want to give good future to their kids and for this they plan their families wisely and meticulously. But to decide who should go for getting this surgical (little) procedure done is a tough question. When I expressed this confusion in front of my office mates (ladies) I was shocked to know that people still think its mother’s responsibility to stop producing more babies (even when making a baby needs father as well).
I feel that between husband and wife, whoever is feeling absolutely definite about not wanting any more kids, should be the one who gets the deed done. Sadly I found out that men don’t seem to feel that way. When they for sure do not want any more children, then THEY should go and get a permanent solution for it. Men want to rule the house and they want to take all important decisions for their families then why not decision of having vasectomy? I individually feel its okay to follow husbands and let them take all serious steps for the whole family. But I want them to come forward for solving this birth prevention problem also. We are educated people and we know that there is nothing un-manly in getting vasectomy done. I rather feel it would be a matter of pride for wives and they would love their husbands even more then.
However, I would say one more thing whatever works for your family obviously is the best option. So if husband is not willing to come forward, wife should take this decision. In today’s lifestyle Planned Parenthood is crucial. For me and my family, if my significant other in our committed relationship, for a fact does not want any more children, and I am also sure about it, I would go and get my ovaries shut down. But only if I am willing! Absolutely without any pressure from any one! Now, personally, I am saying that I do not want more kids, AT THIS MOMENT. But I am not totally nailed on that. My husband also thinks on similar track that we don’t want more babies as of now but he sees a possibility of expanding our family in FUTURE. So whenever I make my mind about having another child or about stopping it here only then beyond any doubt I would opt for permanent contraception. Or even let my husband go for it if he wishes.
Listen This Post Stop Listening Post

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

#TheWomanThatIAm #RRxMM I am not the woman who..

I am not the mother who..
I am not the mother who stayed longer with her newborn, I resumed office when he was barely 2 months old. I am not the mother who witnessed each of my kid's milestones, I got to know them when being told. I am not the mother who could tell breastfeeding stories, my child is a formula-fed gold. I am not the mother who keeps the house spotless, I let my son scatter toys and go overbold. I am not the mother who manages a detailed list for parenting chores, I often keep my to-dos on hold. I am not the mother whom people admire, I hear people calling me selfish and cold.
ALSO I am a doting mother who tries to juggle between family and work every other minute.  I am a mother who watches silly cartoons with my boy.  I am a mother who repeatedly tells the same story every night.  I am a mother who cooks my son's favorite food every week.  And I am also a mother who is the closest person in my son's life!
I am not the wife who..
I am not the wife who has her biological…

My 'Invisible' Accomplishments #DecadeHop #RRxMM

As we entered 2020, through this post I am trying to contemplate the coolest, most daring, and most significant feats of my life during the last decade. Now the more I regress my memory, the more I feel there are two types of achievements or accomplishments that I can ponder upon; Visible and Invisible. Visible ones are those that I can count on my finger like a parrot and others can nod also. I got specs on, married to a not-so-romantic man, produced a baby, started writing and added good 17 kgs in my body volume (I was 50 in 2011). However, there are many invisible accomplishments too that either I know silently or very few can assert.

From 2011 to 2019, Who am I now

From a coy soul to now an outspoken woman, the trek was not easy. I achieved it. From being a no-makeup girl to now a lipstick swatches observer, the transition was tough. But it happened. And from being a sweet hater to now a sweet lover, the change was mysterious yet occurred. And now I can die for Gulab Jamuns. And I…

My Monsoon Love Hate Love Story

Last year, almost the same time, I packed every belonging of mine and landed to a place which is close to my heart. With bag and baggage, my family moved from Delhi to Lucknow. It was monsoon time when I came here and thank god I witnessed a prosperous rain. Lucknow, though smaller compared to Delhi, is a place I distinguish since childhood. The city of Nawabs is believed as the happiest city in India. As our move was well calculated, my husband and I made sure to have all those things in our lives that I missed being in Delhi. A bigger house (that we can afford), green surroundings, street food access that we missed in Delhi and people who talk in our native tongue.

The Hate Story

I hated the rain when I was in Delhi. My house was in a busy lane of a crowded Delhi locality, and I was living on the second floor of the building. Hence neither I had easy access to the road, nor to terrace. When it rained, I was forced to stay inside. Roads used to get sunk even after the rain of half an…