Skip to main content

Understanding my toddler

My toddler (16 months old) is no longer a baby now. I can say this because I'm observing his spirit to stand as an individual these days. The real happiness of motherhood is there when you watch your young one growing up. This growing- up is not a slow process though. I can easily notice an inch up in my child, every day. It seems really a short while when my in-the-lap baby has enabled himself to stand as a distinct person. At his early life, I felt I was just a known face for him. But now, he knows how close I am to him. Of course, I had to put my best feet forward to make him recognize me as his most reliable companion in his playful life. I laugh at his silly acts, play with him, dance with him, cry with him and encourage him when he tries to do what I know he is yet to grow up for. This does promote a mess in my house but it is important to let my tot see the world by his own twinkling eyes and measure the miles by his own baby feet. 
But fact of matter is, he is growing up very quickly and he has started understanding that we both, he and I, are two separate people. He is trying to affirm this thing with fighting with me (or with his father) for control over any issue which comes in front of us. He's able to do things by himself and I know these little achievements please him. The little one, a few months back, used to ask for my office bag to taking things out after I come back from my workplace. To disallow such a play, I used to put my bag on the table he could not catch it from. Then he used to show his restlessness for getting bag. But, that scene has completely changed now. He no longer asks me to give him the bag. He is able to take it himself from the table’s top. He knows how to open the zippers and takes things out. He has learned to operate my cell phone and can now play his favorite videos from the phone gallery. He has started showing reactions when he’s not allowed to do what he wishes to do. This “Let Me” feeling is budding inside him day by day.
However, I also understand that he is not yet a child who is ready to take responsibility for himself and his own actions in relation to me. Sometimes he clings to me, cries when I leave the room, holding up his arms to be carried, demanding with open mouth that I should feed him. In the morning, he pretends like big boys that he can get down from the bed and go to other rooms without my help, and at the night he may wail that he's a small boy who needs to be in lap until he sleeps. His in-between behavior is confusing for me and for my husband. If I try to put myself into the shoes of a soon-to-be one and half year old tod, I find this whole situation stressful. He is trying to set his identity as a self sufficient boy but at the same time he also needs our (his parents) support to hold him before he falls down. At this time, he is unable to know why others can do what is not allowed to him. He is developing his liking and disliking which most of the times conflicts with mine (or with his father's) but after yelling for few minutes he accepts choices in front of him which are not originally his. Now at every second action, he gets scolded. At times he listens and many times he ignores. After getting scolded he comes back to me and melts in my arms. This proves he loves me (and his father) and depends upon me for emotional supports.
I feel he's going through first maze of his life when he tries to do everything by himself but fails most of the times. This failure might be hurting him because I can notice his frustration. I feel he needs more love and approval from my side. Because, his drive to grow up will not allow him to accept other's choices at the price of making him feel inadequate. I don't want him to feel inadequate in any sense. So I let him try things. I cushion his failures. I smile for the mess he creates. This is the only middle way I see, through which my little yet grown-up son can do adventures but insure himself against any bad happening. I'm trying to teach him my firm yet mild replies for his tantrums so that his tiny ego doesn't get bruised. At this early age I cannot expect my little one to understand me. So the only option I have is to understand him. And that’s how I can bring a balance between what he likes and what is right.   
Listen This Post Stop Listening Post

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A few questions to Halloween party people of India

Ugly pumpkins, ridiculous costumes and over-the-top makeup, trick or treating for kids and scary themed parties for the adults, the story of Halloween runs deeply in the Western culture. And these days I have been observing a flood of Halloween posts in my social media accounts . "10 ideas to celebrate Halloween with your kids..", "10 craft projects for Halloween..", "10 things to do at Halloween night.." There are parties happening for Halloween. Costumes are getting sold. Myriads of contests are posting spooky pictures and asking to share even more ghostly pictures. And amidst all this, I am puzzled, baffled and tickled.

I don't know if this is the notion of globalization or a modest thought to adopt cultures regardless of the geographical borders. Howbeit, I am sure about one thing that I hate the idea of kids celebrating Halloween here in India.

I have a few questions in my mind that I humbly want to ask those Halloween party people:
How you are p…

The Sisters Bond

This post is for #SiblingStories blogging train hosted by Ila Varma in collaboration with the Brand Ang Tatva. Thirty three esteemed bloggers from blogging fraternity have joined hands to participate in the Blog train for #SiblingTalk reviving the sweet and tickling hours spent with loving siblings and revive golden memories of the past.

ABOUT ME
My name is Shipra and I am a working mother who is a part time blogger as well. I share my parenting experience through my blog and I also love to write about food, health and technology. Cartoon making is another thing I really enjoy and I own a cartoon series #VibhuAndPapa that you can find on Twitter. They are the funny conversation between my son and my husband. Work line wise, I am a software project manager who now a days is working on Digital Accessibility. My this year's #MyfriendAlexa post are about making our blogs accessible. Check them if you like to know more.

MY #SiblingStories
We are two sisters and with growing up together,…

My Monsoon Love Hate Love Story

Last year, almost the same time, I packed every belonging of mine and landed to a place which is close to my heart. With bag and baggage, my family moved from Delhi to Lucknow. It was monsoon time when I came here and thank god I witnessed a prosperous rain. Lucknow, though smaller compared to Delhi, is a place I distinguish since childhood. The city of Nawabs is believed as the happiest city in India. As our move was well calculated, my husband and I made sure to have all those things in our lives that I missed being in Delhi. A bigger house (that we can afford), green surroundings, street food access that we missed in Delhi and people who talk in our native tongue.

The Hate Story

I hated the rain when I was in Delhi. My house was in a busy lane of a crowded Delhi locality, and I was living on the second floor of the building. Hence neither I had easy access to the road, nor to terrace. When it rained, I was forced to stay inside. Roads used to get sunk even after the rain of half an…