Skip to main content

Gender disappointment, let's Break It..

Have you heard the term "Gender disappointment"? You guessed it right! This is something related to giving birth to a baby and getting a blow after knowing the baby's gender. Not many of us have done that I am sure. However, there are women who have done so as they all were expecting a different gender child. In India this gender disappointment generally comes into scene when a woman (or her family) was expecting a boy and finally a girl child is handed over to her. Every woman wants to be a mother some day in her life ( I know expectation can be there). She struggles, cries and bears painful time of pregnancy just to become a mother. Then how come she falls into this blue feeling of disappointment?
This so-known phenomenon "Gender disappointment" is present in our society since ages. My mother faced it because she birthed two girls whereas her in-laws were expecting a boy both the times. Most recent case I witnessed when my sister in-law was pregnant second time. She was already mother of a beautiful and super active girl that time. When second time she was expecting, all the family members including her mother (my mother in-law) was willing for a boy. What eventually happened made everyone gloomy except me and my husband. It was a girl child again. We were not even informed that my sister in-law delivered her baby safely. When we called to know about her health as she was close to due date, we came to know that because of this whole gender disappointment, they didn't inform us. My sister in-law even didn't talk to us because she was in deep mental distress. I am sure she had no issues with her second girl child but the family pressure and expectations made her fall into this fizzle.
Time has changed and so have changed most of the people. It's "most of the people" because still exists people who prefer boys over girls. If mother is from new generation, her old generation family members make her feel guilty of birthing a girl. I am really shocked to meet such people who still think girls bring misfortune for the family. Still happening when old ladies from family analysed pregnancy symptoms for predicting gender of the unborn baby. And based on this vague assumption, they even start naming the baby. Such people live in confusion and fancy world, and when doctor declares it's a girl, they get floored. Mother, in such conditions, is left with the only option to break into tears. She considers herself unfortunate and feels as low as a person can feel. Even if she tries to sink it, people around her make it worse. Between growing sense of disappointment and guilt, she doesn't understand what to do!
I feel this whole world is driven by mothers and in cases where family is creating gender disappointment, new mother should take corrective steps. She should make others realize that she is blessed with a healthy baby and this is world's greatest achievement. Bringing a child in this world is no less than fighting a battle. Mourning over gender of the baby is like disregarding nature's favor when both baby and mother are safe. Now my sister in-law's second daughter is everyone's darling. She is so cute and cuddly. It's not that her family didn't accepted the fact that she has two daughters. They all love both the girls. But those few moments when her family didn't celebrated the arrival the little girl has given a life-long scar.
Whether boy or girl, every little soul deserves worm welcome and enormous love, and people should do that without a second thought. The role of a mother becomes harder in such hap because she must advocate her child's existence and gender. It's difficult. It needs a lot of patient and will power. But this is the first motherhood challenge and she has to face it for the betterment of her kid's life which is just starting. Let's be stronger mothers from the very moment we birth our babies! 
Listen This Post Stop Listening Post

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

My Monsoon Love Hate Love Story

Last year, almost the same time, I packed every belonging of mine and landed to a place which is close to my heart. With bag and baggage, my family moved from Delhi to Lucknow. It was monsoon time when I came here and thank god I witnessed a prosperous rain. Lucknow, though smaller compared to Delhi, is a place I distinguish since childhood. The city of Nawabs is believed as the happiest city in India. As our move was well calculated, my husband and I made sure to have all those things in our lives that I missed being in Delhi. A bigger house (that we can afford), green surroundings, street food access that we missed in Delhi and people who talk in our native tongue.

The Hate Story

I hated the rain when I was in Delhi. My house was in a busy lane of a crowded Delhi locality, and I was living on the second floor of the building. Hence neither I had easy access to the road, nor to terrace. When it rained, I was forced to stay inside. Roads used to get sunk even after the rain of half an…

A few questions to Halloween party people of India

Ugly pumpkins, ridiculous costumes and over-the-top makeup, trick or treating for kids and scary themed parties for the adults, the story of Halloween runs deeply in the Western culture. And these days I have been observing a flood of Halloween posts in my social media accounts . "10 ideas to celebrate Halloween with your kids..", "10 craft projects for Halloween..", "10 things to do at Halloween night.." There are parties happening for Halloween. Costumes are getting sold. Myriads of contests are posting spooky pictures and asking to share even more ghostly pictures. And amidst all this, I am puzzled, baffled and tickled.

I don't know if this is the notion of globalization or a modest thought to adopt cultures regardless of the geographical borders. Howbeit, I am sure about one thing that I hate the idea of kids celebrating Halloween here in India.

I have a few questions in my mind that I humbly want to ask those Halloween party people:
How you are p…

The Utopian World Of Smart Devices

I would like to start this post with telling readers my profession. I am a software professional who has a decade of experience in technology and software development. In those 10 years, I have very closely seen how technology has evolved. Of course, the first urge was the necessity that let every invention happen. And then technology got advanced to make the user experience better and further sound. In the chain of making every sort of experience pleasanter for users, the era of smart devices came. We all remember the time when smartphones came into the market. Before that, we had those dial phones and keypad mobiles. We were able to talk to the other party. But the progression of technology made it real to actually see with whom we talk. We still talk through phones but with added feel and warmth.

The Utopian World Of Smart Devices

Not only smartphones, but there has been an exponential increase in the number of smart devices around us in the last 5 years. When I first heard the ter…