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Becoming Mother, calculated move or calculated risk

Be brave, Take calculated risks, Nothing can substitute experience.
Calculated move means you do something after careful estimation of the probable outcome. And Calculated risk is a move which you take intentionally and you know that some degree of risk is involved in it. So in between two, the difference is only because of this word "risk". Becoming a mother was a calculated risk for me and a calculated move for my husband. I was little apprehensive about this idea of getting pregnant but being a wife this was something which I must be prepared for. My husband is in habit of calculating future, as per my husband "you have to take risk if you want to achieve something." So we planned for it based upon our age, married life and career. We both, husband -wife, got ready and we did it meticulously. I am calling it calculative because my husband did a real calculation around it. Calculation about the efforts that we need to put it for bringing up a child, calculation of money we may need in future with a kid and calculation of our priorities that we would encounter. He is a man of math's actually. We both work and this new move was going to change our lives to a big level. This was a risk for me because motherhood is a complete job, a job of which I had no idea. It's actually a full time career in itself. Managing two jobs at the same time always involves some risk.  To juggle the demands of a family and a career needs lot of thinking and patient. I was going to sail in two boats actually. But today my son is 1 year old and to be honest this calculation helped us a lot in reaching here. 
1. As we both work, we run two families. Our's and in-law's because father in-law is a retired person and lives in our home town. My husband used to help my father in-law and brother in-law in monetary terms. Some times for house renovation, for new business or to buy any other thing needed for living. When we planned our family, my husband discussed this with his father as well. He informed him that in future he might not be able to help them much as he used to do. He was not refusing to help but was telling them manage their expenses carefully. Idea was to start saving for our baby from now only.
2. Before we planned for adding a new member in our family, we invested in a flat. To buy a property these days is an expensive affair. We had money and we were saving it wisely. Effect of that is we have already paid more than 90 % of it and are planning to move there next year. 
3. Assessment of job priorities is something we did after my first ultrasound. I took many leaves during first four months of my pregnancy because I was going through some complexities. Job is important but my pregnancy was even critically more important so we calculated this situation also. Taking full month leave without pay could be valid option but I opted to go office every alternate day. This way I did both rest and work. Also I did not accept my promotion that year because I needed a relaxed life for at-least one year after my delivery. So we again calculated the aftereffect of not accepting the promotion and found that an easy life is better than complex life with more money. Summation of priorities for each other needed our full day. And we reached to a consent that we would share domestic chores, my husband would come home early after office, he would accompany me in every doctor visit and many others. Thing is, this calculation was mainly for me :), for making my days easy. I love my days of pregnancy !!
4. Patient calculation looks impossible. We tried to do this as well. How ?? Stop arguments and disputes. Try practicing anger control. Let go things you don't like but don't crib. After whole one year, now we are changed people. We argue less and keep ourselves present all the time for our baby. We don't pin point each other and share work to manage life with ease.
5. We had also calculated that after having baby, we must be needing someone to take care of the little one because we both work. In light of this, my mother in-law is staying with us. But she can't stay here always as my father in-law is there at our home town. So we gave a thought to change my job to some office which gives Day care facility to working ladies. Again a calculated move, I recently switched my job to a big organization where I can either work from home or take my son to Day care. Life is easy there as being a big company of many people, work load is shared across a big team.
6. We analysed one more thing, what we can't do after having a baby. It was watching movie (at least for some years) and late night talks in our case. So we tried to catch as many flicks as we could before my delivery. Even I watched movie "Kick" when I was 8 n half months pregnant :) Plus we used to talk a lot during nights, specially when next day was Saturday. We used to play antakshari and at times with old hindi songs only. I am a big lover of old hindi songs.
           So far journey is going well with a naughty kid at home. Though I was not sure how would I manage everything but till now things are going smooth. Everyday we cherish milestones of our son as he is learning things quickly. Now I don't see any risk around me. With time I have learned how to manage work and home. How to take help from others and how to face challenges of parenting :). My husband still calculates situations and this somehow comfort me as well. 
So take risk, if you win you'll be happy and if you loose you'll be wise.


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