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Showing posts from October, 2016

Giving seat to a pregnant woman

When I was pregnant, I got the chance to improve my understanding about behavior of other people towards pregnant women. Some of my experiences are really awesome and some are unfavorable. I found people around us are divided into two categories, first, those who respect motherhood and treat all pregnant ladies well. Second group is of people who think it's not their headache if a woman is pregnant and she has to deal with this matter herself.
During my pregnancy I added lots of fruits in my diet and every day after office, I used to buy fruits for myself. Luckily every other day I met with people who used to offer me help till my house by carrying my fruit bag. I was 30 weeks pregnant and I witnessed subtle humbleness. Once on my way to home, I felt like throwing-up. This is the worst part of my pregnancy that I puked so much. Suddenly I noticed some one standing behind me and rubbing my back. With fear I turned back and saw a 17-18 years old girl. She said, "It's okay.…

Take it like a man!

What is "being a man?" One who doesn’t cry and always present himself tough and over emotions. But what is wrong in crying if one is a man? In my childhood I used to play in a park near by my house. As a common kid’s habit, all the girls used to play "Ghar-Ghar"/"Doctor-Doctor" and boys "Cricket". One day I noticed, one of my neighborhood boys missed a catch even after running till the end of the park boundary and diving with all his strength. His eyes started to water as he got a wound in one of his knees. "Don’t rub it "said the boy’s elder brother. But suddenly someone shouted, "Take it like a man! Rub some dirt on it and you will be fine." The message was clear “Don’t show your pain at any cost because you are a man." Dirt is, of course, the life-line of many things around us; it is certainly not a first-aid option to cure physical and emotional pains."Be strong","Behave like a man", "Be toug…

Gender disappointment, let's Break It..

Have you heard the term "Gender disappointment"? You guessed it right! This is something related to giving birth to a baby and getting a blow after knowing the baby's gender. Not many of us have done that I am sure. However, there are women who have done so as they all were expecting a different gender child. In India this gender disappointment generally comes into scene when a woman (or her family) was expecting a boy and finally a girl child is handed over to her. Every woman wants to be a mother some day in her life ( I know expectation can be there). She struggles, cries and bears painful time of pregnancy just to become a mother. Then how come she falls into this blue feeling of disappointment? This so-known phenomenon "Gender disappointment" is present in our society since ages. My mother faced it because she birthed two girls whereas her in-laws were expecting a boy both the times. Most recent case I witnessed when my sister in-law was pregnant second t…

Trees Do Not Eat Their Fruits... To All Mother-in-Laws

Although marriage is a bond of love between a bride and a groom made of seven vows, it is sometimes more about the relation between the bride and the groom's mother. With the 7 vows of marriage, a bride also gets a strange relationship with her 'Mother in law'. The relationship of a daughter-in-law and a mother-in-law is mostly described as competitive and at a bargain. In some happy families, both these ladies share a beautiful union. But, in some complex ones, this relationship is an example of a bitter truth that can neither be accepted nor be abandoned. I remember a comedy show directed by Sachin (Tu-Tu Mai-Mai) that I had watched on TV when I was a child. The argument between daughter-in-law and a mother-in-law in that show was intended to make people laugh. But in reality it does not stand so funny. Since daughter-in-laws, in our society, are not supposed to make any argument with their mother-in-laws and the following questions keep the daughter-in-laws troubled in…

Who should go for permanent birth prevention, Husband or Wife?

After becoming parents for the first time, the very common question we face is "When you are planning next?" Contrary, at the end of day every couple thinks about not to have any more children. Some of you may not agree with me but at-least we both, husband-wife, feel this way. Our son is 17 months old and we are always on toes in completing our parenting duties. Being a working couple our life is hectic and every other moment we have to priorities things of life. We fear that managing life with two small kids could be juggling. So bringing a new member in our family would be a super serious step. That’s why we often thought to go for a permanent birth control process. But in a committed relationship, who should get snipped when both husband-wife don't want to have any more children? 20-30 years back this question had an obvious answer. Even if the man definitely does not want any more children, the woman should get her tubes tied. But now I expect a different treatment …

Should women have the right to take off during their periods?

I fall in the category of women for whom periods are always painful. This menstruation sometimes makes me feel weak, sick and frustrate. Even I pass out at times. Although I have learned how to deal with it but certain days I don't feel like talking to anyone during my menses. I even don't want to get up for office and I want to be in my bed whole day. I know that's now impossible because I'm a mother and wife. And I have to take care of my family as well. But I admit, I remain irritated especially if I am in office. So I feel it's better to have time off for those days rather than being just in office and making it worse of everyone else there. Sigh!! I can't take leaves every month. I can't skip my work commitments and I have to go office irrespective of I being not much of myself. Plus, salary deduction is another fear that haunts me in taking leaves during my periods. But isn't it injustice with women? We should be allowed to take leave when we fee…

If you are a mother, do you assume yourself beautiful?

What makes you beautiful as a Mother? I am not talking about your beauty from any other's perspective. I am asking what your heart thinks about it. Let's take examples of mothers you know personally. What makes them so amazing? Is their beauty about how they physically look OR how they look at their kids? You might not assume yourself graceful but fact is You Are. Sometimes we tend to ignore what little things we do everyday that make big changes in life. We, mothers, often consider ourselves insignificant because we always look upon our failures. But believe me, mothers are running this whole universe.  No language can express the power, the beauty and the majesty of a mother's love.. A mother is beautiful when she confronts her baby in middle of night.. She is beautiful when she reads for her kids even being badly tired.. She is even beautiful when she kissed scrapped knees.. Great is how she loves her kids unconditionally.. Wonder is how she lifts them up and stand by them.. M…

On Mother's Day A letter to my future daughter-in-law

First of all let me tell you that I am so excited to meet you. You might still be in diapers somewhere (so does my son is) but soon we'll meet and I'll get the pleasure of having a daughter in-law. So, welcome to the family dear! You are going to get a new mother, May not as perfect as yours but definitely a caring one! Just like my son, you may also not be able clearly talk yet. By today, your future man is just figuring out how to say things in his sweet voice and I am his voice these say. I can comprehend his thoughts being his mother. So I would like to say that this may be too early to talk to you but darling time passes in blinks and I wanted to be prepared for your wedding with my son. I promise that I would give the best man of your life. For this I'll put my best efforts to help my son in finding you. I'll make sure that he understands the meaning of "being a Husband" which is one of the two most important titles a man carries in his life. Other is o…

Ram Navami : The first conversation between new born Lord Rama and mother Kaushilya

Do you know that Lord Rama was born as a full grown man ? Yes it's true as per our Hindu mythology. When I was pregnant and was coming close to my delivery date, my mother suggested me to read a special verse from Ram-Charit-Manas. The reason was to ease the anxiety which every would- be mother feels coming close to final days of pregnancy. Ram-Charit-Manas, composed by Goswami Tulsidas, is a master piece epic that takes one through the entire life of Lord Rama beautifully. The epic has been formulated as a collection of poetries describing Lord Rama’s life through seven phases (known as seven Kands). Though all these Kands are beautifully exhibited, BalKand (the first of all) is portrayed divinely beautiful. This kand takes one through the holy birth of Lord Rama and his pleasant childhood activities. The very feelings of mother kaushilya at her child’s birth have been depicted in a beautiful verse from BaalKand. 

The birth of Lord Rama, was a real surprise for mother Kaushilya as…

On your second marriage with cell phone

Your are driving to reach office and you get stuck in heavy traffic,  what’s your first thought?  You need to get off your cell phone! You just switched on your cell phone's wifi and you notice 100 messages from your friends groups. You couldn't stop yourself in replying them! You heard Narendra Modi is delivering speech in his political rally, you immediately turn on data connection of your cell phone. You even keep on checking the highlights of his speech ! Sound familiar? I see a problem in today’s husbands that they are cell phone addicted. And this disease is spreading like anything.In last 15 years the cell phone has conquered our world. And quest of smart phones have made them more powerful. I could make a list of 50 ways these phones have improved our lives. But if you’re like me and can remember what life was like before we all got cell phones, you may wonder if all the changes are really for the good. Remember the days when we were not having phones. We used to enjoy ou…

You can do this Mothers

To all Mothers.. How many times in a day you think that you can't do a certain thing but you find yourself doing that? As a mother, we all presume many things impossible at the very first moment but then we get ourselves indulge into it somehow. No matter if that work is hard or easy, sad or enjoying, we do it.. even after thinking that we can't do this. Here are some of things we, mother think we can't do but we actually do in our lives: 1. "I can't carry this" says the woman before conceiving her baby and thinking it's the biggest responsibility of the world. But later SHE carries this responsibility with full of her heart and becomes the life-line of her kids. 2. "I can't face this" says the pregnant woman, hearing shouting and crying of other woman in labour. But SHE faces it when her time comes and encourages other mothers to stand up to it with strong will power. 3. "I can't do this anymore" says the would-be mother suffering…

Please stop comparing my life with movie "Ki & ka"

First of all let me confess, I haven't yet watched this movie "Ki & Ka" but I do have things to say about it. Ki & ka is a movie (what I feel) that spins over a clever and easily marketable topic that can be communicated in a single sentence. It's about battle of sexes. I don't have any personal issue with such battles until they harm and misguide people about the idea of living a happy life. This movie is showing the gender role reversal where an ambitious woman who wants to climb the ladder of success is married with a progressive male partner who is happy to stay at the bottom. He cooks, cleans and plays the perfect house husband while she toils away. I guess this movie features a conversational humor and gives a wrong impression about working wives. I feel sad about this rambling story, which is stretched to more than 120 minutes without adequately exploring the issues it stokes (my sister told me the whole plot and the story). My husband is doing work…

Who decided your baby's name?

When I was five-month pregnant, we both, husband-wife, started thinking about our soon-to-be-coming baby’s name. It was actually a big responsibility to carry. We were to pick a name for our baby's life time. Honestly, the magnitude of thinking about it was huge. Every night I used to ask my husband the same question, "Did you find any good boy and girl names?" and he used to give me the same reply, "I forgot." I thought I would find it by myself. After a massive thinking and searching, I came across names of my best linking, "Nishkarsh" (which means result in English) for boy and "Santati"(which also means result in English) for girl. I found these names apt because they’re unique, have some meaning and most importantly starting with letter 'N' and ‘S’. My husband's name starts with letter 'N' and mine with 'S' so all my conditions were getting accomplished with these two names. I told these names to my husband …

To my wife..a confession letter

Dear wife  I have been thinking about it since long. Today I'm writing it to you that I have few confessions to make.  I have to confess that.. I'm giving you less attention.Our lives have completely changed since we had our baby and that is because we decided to have a family. We may be spending less time together now but I feel this is okay for now because I know that one day we will be dining at good restaurants, holding hands and reminiscing about the moments that we spent with our kids.  Then my focus will be YOU only.I want you to understand why our time has taken a backseat because we are building something so special, that it is worth the wait. I do have a confession... I'm not the person I used to be earlier.I have also changed and it is not at all your fault. I'm working more than I used to because I want to give our kids the best I can. I admit I am spending more time on my laptop than with you but that doesn't mean I am escaping the world of parenting, it is…

Life is beautiful yet I want little more..

Life is beautiful that I'm a ‘girl’, who is independent and confident,                           Still I wish I was a boy so that my parents could have avoided people commenting on "no boy" topic.. Life is beautiful that I'm educated and living in a big city,                          Yet I want to live in any village, far away from the hassles of fast life and close to nature.. Life is beautiful that I got a perfect husband,                                                Still I wish I would have met him earlier so that I could have added few more years of togetherness..         Life is beautiful that looks wise I'm okay..                         Yet I like improving my beauty with cosmetics and little make-up.. Life is beautiful that I'm married and settled..                          Still I want to be a little girl who plays with amma and papa..     Life is beautiful that I'm a working woman..                          Yet I want to stay at home, purposely, and spe…