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Showing posts from 2016

Revisiting year 2016 - Fashion now has new faces - Acid attack survivors

Acid attacks on women happen all over the world. They are brutal in a peculiar sense because the attacker aims not to kill the victim but to disfigure her and kill her soul. Attackers indulge in this frightful crime and force the victim to live a life of suffering if she survives. In our country, the cases stand out despite the existence of laws and directives to prevent the horrific crime. Even cases involving throwing acid have been on the rise. And here attacks follow a pattern.In an analysis of cases, it has been found that 35% of the incidents cited rejection of marriage or refusal by women.Acid attacks not only physically hurt victims but bring a social isolation that compounds the trauma. However, in this year 2016, I came to read many of the acid attack survivor’s stories which are so powerful and inspiring.

I never heard or had seen how those women face the challenges of their further life which are full of hatred and criticism. But in this year 2016, I found many such women …

The Lost Art of Letter Writing..

Do you remember the last time when you wrote a letter to someone? Honestly, I can't tell when the last time I wrote a personal letter to someone. My last written communication was in the year 2009 when something was wrong with my SBI account and I wrote an application to the branch manager regarding that. But it's been 7 long years since I have not used pen and paper for writing anything thoughtful as a letter! Why am I tossing around letter writing? Because recently I got a chance to listen to a lady who made me realize that nothing can replace letter writing, although we now have better new age communication mediums like email, texting, Facebook and more.


The lady, Laxmi, is a social entrepreneur and most importantly a family person. She shared that she traveled countries to countries for many years because of her work needs. And during these years, she couldn't meet her aging father with much of time. However, her father did an amazing thing in last two years of his life…

How to be productive in office?

“Productivity” We corporate people hear this word every now and then. We are always asked to push towards giving more productivity. But simple it looks; productivity is a hard nut to crack. Productivity is not about working complete 8 hours of the day without taking any breaks. Or stretching your day beyond regular 8 hours and making other envious. Productivity is giving our best in working hours. Having said that, I also believe in having a few extra hours where we can think about just us. But the question is from where those extra hours will come?

With best of my understanding and experience of 8 years in IT sector, I have a suggestion.  Start your morning on the productive note and by the end of the day, you’ll have at least an hour for yourself. And this absolutely doesn’t mean skipping those short coffee and tea breaks. You can take them and still can enjoy a productive day.
Rule 1. Don’t check your email until it’s necessary: Many of us have a habit of checking email as they get …

I am ready to change my name now

The number of women changing their names after marriage is decreasing and this is what I have observed.  I also kept my name. Among my friends, only a few of them have changed their surnames after getting married. It’s no surprise I kept my last name. These days, changing the name is clashing with the idea of having own space and identity for modern women. And naturally, I never liked the way women seemed to disappear into their husband’s name. When I got married, I was at the peak of my career. I was dreaming about going out of India and even about settling down in the US. Changing my surname was going to add little paper and official work (affidavit for PAN card, driving license, bank document and passport etc) for us. While registering our marriage when asked the name of the wife, my husband said “Shipra Pandey”. Yes, it’s my original name. Since then, we are man and wife with different surnames.  Although, there was no confusion ever that our kid(s) are going to take their father’…

Emotional weight of being a wife

A few days back, I had a fight with my husband. And as always happens, after a couple of counter arguments, I had to stop. The fight was then dominated by my better half and eventually I was in tears. It’s being four years, I am trying to understand him but I failed and the cost was always very painful. During our heated talks, he asked me if I know the meaning of being a wife. Since then this question is hitting me till deep. Am I not a wife (good or bad is next thing)? Am I not somebody with whom he wants to spend his life? Am I having some problem which is hindering me from being a wife (at least)?
As my profession gives handy, I googled this question, “What is being a wife?” And I found most of the answers/blogs/posts about this topic are written by women writers. The first page of my search result was full of advice from female audience and almost all of them suggest that women need to do more. Butone thing surprised me that there was no such post in which any male has given sugge…

My boy is growing up so fast..

When I faced my family members after delivering my boy, the first thing I heard was “Beta maa pr gaya hai..” It was always being told by many of my known ones that little boys love their mumas so much.  This made me think about a parenting quote “There’s nothing like the bond between a mother and son.” Although the idea that boys love their mothers differently than girls is both silly and a little gender discriminating, but l accepted it as being a lucky woman who gave birth to a healthy baby. And the baby is by chance a boy. I have no brother and because of that, I was really unaware of how it feels to see a boy growing in front of you. I only remember how my younger sister grew with me. May be that is the reason I am blessed with a boy so that I could understand what is the depth of relation between a mother and a son, a father and a son and a boy and his siblings.
Amazingly after my boy joined the daycare (in my office), we have come so close to each other. This might be confusing …

People, please don't say or do these things to a pregnant woman

I still remember the weirdest question that I have been repeatedly asked by others when I was pregnant. “Are you carrying twins?”  This question always embarrassed me and even made me furious at times. When I was in my cool vibes, I took it as a normal way of talking to a pregnant lady. But when I was not in my best mood, I felt offended. “Do I look that big? Twins, are you serious?”  This inappropriate question (at least I think so) was asked by even a lady doctor who did my 8th month’s ultrasound.  I admit I was big, sweaty, and crabby but was that really necessary to make a pregnant lady think that she was FAT?
There are other things which people around me (mostly my office mates) did and I hated that. Still, I was really lucky that those incidences were very few.  Some of my (girl) friends used to touch my belly and ask how my baby was doing. I know their intentions were good but I found that really unreasonable. This belly touching was only allowed and authorized for my husband. H…

Are we expecting too much from our marriages?

Have you ever felt that your spouse is not the one you wished for? Don’t get me wrong but it’s normal to think that what we expect from our spouses is never getting fulfilled or the percentage is very low. The majority of the couples, who fought for getting married, eventually find themselves disappointed with marriage. And if you ask any honest married person to estimate the number of those that find themselves disappointed with matrimony, this will be closer to 100%. That’s because no matter how compatible our spouse is or how prepared we feel for our wedding, it is natural to experience a discrepancy between what we hoped marriage would be and what it actually is. But why expectations are too high? Why we feel disappointed?
Over the years the relationship between a husband and a wife has been stretched so much. Which means they have started expecting way higher than it can be executed. Hopes from marriages in the time of my mother or grandmother was not like what we have today. Thos…

I stand up for the National Anthem. And I also stand by SC's order.

After reading so many blogs and post which are condemning supreme court‘s order that the national anthem must be played inside all movie theaters, across the country, I want to convey my thoughts in support of this order. On this Wednesday, November 30, SC of India passed the verdict on a petition filed by Bhopal’s Shyam Narayan Chouski, who is an ex-army person, alleged the misuse of the anthem in TV shows and movies. The court also stated that everyone should respect our national anthem and its commercialization and dramatization on objectionable stuff should be stopped. "When the national anthem is played it is imperative for everyone to show honor and respect. It would instill a sense of committed patriotism and nationalism," said the judges. I believe respecting the national anthem or our flag is respecting the idea of being an Indian. When I was in school, I was taught that standing for the national anthem is giving honor to our freedom fighters who sacrificed their liv…

More than a soul mate for me..

‘This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’
I admit for the fact that it was not “love at first sight” for me when I met my husband. And I know that it never was for my husband. It was not like any fairy tale that he saw me through some window and decided that I was the one made for him. The idea of soul mate seems more suitable for movies and poetries where love eventually leads to becoming a soul mate for anyone. Of course, this is my perception and I respect those who believe in the ideology of finding soul mates. I know my husband since my childhood. But it was not a childhood love in our case. As the time unfolded and our circumstances brought us closer, we realized that it was a relationship more than just an old friendship. And we got married.
Early in our marriage, I and my husband were thrown into situations where we found our relationship slipping like desert. Those days were neither romantic nor easy for us. As life went fur…

My Love Story

I know my husband, Mr N, since my childhood, when I was 4 and he was 8 years old. We were family friends. But I realized his love for me when I was 26. I guess my wisdom tooth is responsible for it. It came so late.  


We used to live in the same colony and our 2-room flats were also nearby. Because of this, our families used to visit each other frequently.  I remember my mother-in-law used to come to my mother for new designs of sweaters. MrN used to be an average- looks guy and his dressing sense was like 10 years older than his age. His love for comic books was the first thing which attracted me towards him. Mr N used to collect comics from his friends and used to offer me for reading. I enjoyed this comic reading until I reached in 9th standard. Now comic reading stopped but he continued to come to my house. We used to talk about studies, food, songs and other happenings. We grew together and being older than me, he joined his professional course when I was in graduation first year.…

Forward and get good luck in return

A few days back, something happened with me that made my faith even stronger on my thinking about social media. “Don’t follow it blindly.” Last week on Thursday morning, I woke up and started checking my piled up WhatsApp messages. One message because of its strange assertion made me sore instantly. “Forward it to 5 more groups immediately and get good luck in return. If you ignore, this will cost you so much.”  I really abhor such messages. And similar ones on Facebook where they claim a bad luck if people don’t hit like on them. Then my morning chaos started and I got lost in getting ready for office along with my son. After reaching office and dropping my son at his daycare, I jumped upon my breakfast. While having it, I was watching the news on TVs which are placed in my office cafeteria. And no wonder there was a single topic flooding on every of the new channel, Currency ban. I want to write a separate blog on how I see this Demonetization. But for the current story, I am sticking…

My Best Birthday Ever

‘This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’
Ever since my childhood, I love to celebrate my birthday. During my school time, I used to call my school friends at home for the celebration. My mother used to cook delicious food (Chole, Puri, Kheer etc..) for us. She is the best cook honestly. I used to get new clothes as well and that was all about celebrating a birthday. No concept of cake at all. Actually, the cake was very rare among the families around us.  A few years later my younger sister started demanding cake on her birthdays. She is the youngest member of our family and no one wanted her to feel unhappy so my parents accepted this. And cake cutting used to happen only on her birthdays.  After I got married, first my husband’s birthday came and I celebrated it with so much of enthusiasm. Next month it was my birthday and seriously, I was so excited and curious how my husband was going to surprise me. My husband loves writing an…

There is An International Men's Day Too.

It was international Men’s day yesterday. We hear a lot of buzz about celebrating women’s day every year but why not people aware of any such day or they look interested in celebrating Men’s day? Last year also, I blogged about this day but that was very specific to thanking my husband for being the second best man in my life. The first one is, of course, my father. This year, I want to express my thoughts on how the tussle of gender and rights equality is changing the picture of MEN in our society.
On women’s day everything from shops for markets, from offices to online stores, goes pink.  They give discounts and even insurance schemes pop up for the welfare of women. This year in my office, every female employee got a pink rose with a women’s day card. There was even a small party only for women employees. That was really so much! Men might have different interests and pink roses are not their kinds. But where is their recognition Today I shared with one of my friends that it’s Men…

Why today's parents are educating their daughters?

It is undoubtedly a fact that educated women spend a better life. And the benefits to education are not restricted to being financially strong and living a good life, better-educated women are more likely to have healthier, better-educated kids. So today’s parents are providing good education to their daughters and encouraging them to unleash their potential. However, is this only reason parents are working hard to educate their daughters? I feel, with a booming economy, increasing groom prices and dowry harassment have become the weighty reasons why parents are trying their best to provide higher education to their daughters. I am not saying that parents don’t want to see their daughters settled and financially strong even when they are not married. But Dowry is still prevalent in many parts of our country. Still, happens where parents claim that their daughter is being killed by her in-laws for dowry. A few days back only I read the news where a 20 years old girl in Odisha was killed…

A new outlook towards a Divorce

Recently we heard Angelia Jolly splitting from her husband Brad Pitt, using the term “irreconcilable differences,” And I find whole media and a bunch of feminist bloggers going wild over writing about it. “Is this a correct step when you have half a dozen kids? “, “Reason revealed, Brad is having an EXTRA marital affair.” Many more verdicts came out when the crowd saw a celebrity couple getting divorced. While some of them appreciated this step for coming out of a disturbing marriage. Most people scoff them off for using a new-age approach to what is necessarily a dark, painful life event, a divorce.


The demise of a long relationship is really a sad step and its effect on kids and other family member is obviously a negative thing. But I feel with time we have advanced over each and every aspect of living except separation from a life partner. As our thinking and lifestyles are getting cutting-age, people are getting open in every matter. They are open in expressing their life choices. …

I want those days back..

‘This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’

I have plentiful of childhood memories that I can even write a whole book about them. All my sweet and salty memories are around my family and my friends. I often narrate those stories (even repeatedly) to my husband and get nostalgic. What a time that was!
A funny incidence I remember is when I got lost in a crowded fair. It was a village fair which used to be so big that reaching home from there was kind of impossible for a 6 years old kid. I somehow managed to reach my grandparent’s home with taking help from a milk man. He made me sit on his cycle and dropped to my grandparent’s place.  My parents spent whole 2 hours searching for me anxiously there. Phones were very rare those days so they came back to my grandparent’s home hopelessly. I was already there and as Amma(my mother) found me sitting inside, she hugged me and thanked God loudly. I was as selfish as a child; I was feeling happy…