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Parenting from same page


Last week my son ( 11 months old now) faced hard time because of viral fever and congestion. Each time he was coughing, he was crying with pain. And it was very difficult for both of us, me and my husband, to see our kid in such a situation. He was on medicines and was not ready to sit or rest. So we both were carrying him in arms and were continuously standing to calm him down . It’s like hell to see babies crying in pain so I also cried once and prayed God to lessen his discomfort. I saw tears in my husband’s eyes as well. He is a tough man but our son’s screaming broke his heart. Next day I went to our kind neighbors who helped us in taking my kiddo to their old family doc. It was a thank you visit and there I heard something which actually made to envious with my husband. Lady said that she saw tears in my husband’s eyes and said that he is a father better than a mother. She keeps an eye on what is happening at each of her neighbor’s house and that ways she knows so much about how we are raising our son.  I am married in a family where equality of husband and wife makes no sense. Kids are mother’s undertaking ..from nappy changing to getting their homework done. Everything from A to Z comes under the onus of mother. I found my husband different from his family. From the day my son was born, my husband is always around his son. First 7 days he didn’t sleep because whole night he was talking to his son and was waking me up for feed ( I was not well after delivery). He was learning how to change his nappies, how to burp him, how to hold him properly, how to change his cloths. Whole in-laws family were surprised and shocked actually to see his behavior. I got this as a lovely co-operation from my husband. I feel myself blessed as he understands that parenting is a team work.He became a strong athlete of our parent team. Any parental partnership is based upon three things, co-operation, communication and problem solving ability. And my husband is getting full marks in every of his parenting responsibilities. He doesn’t wait upon me to change nappies and feed our baby ( who is now on top feed). He can do everything like a super father, singing lullabies, making baby food, bathing the baby, changing cloths, taking baby for evening outing, anything you name it. As a mother my soul is for my little one. But when people notice my husband's contribution, they adore him and I feel out of the world.




I think, today’s fast lifestyle needs fatherhood as equal and efficient as motherhood. In the past and in the society where we breath, it was usually one kind of partnership: father in charge of making a living and mother in charge of looking after the house and children. That worked for many years and, for some families, it still works fairly well. But now mothers and fathers are more likely to share many roles. We both, husband and wife, work and sometime I get busy with work in office. But I am always assure about one thing that my rescue ranger , my husband, can deal with it. He’ll look after our son. This is of course a matter of proud for me to share this with my friends so that they can also understand that we should change after becoming parent. Sometime my friends ask how we come to a common decision because parents often have very different values about how to raise kids. We do have different thoughts and sometimes argue because we have differences in our personalities, cultural backgrounds and our childhood experiences are different. But for us it’s not the matter who is right or wrong. We accept our differences and do what is best for our son. I don’t like my son watching TV but I accepted it because as per my husband it’s okay to watch TV for some time. Being in IT world we are always working under different “Projects”. The more you work the more you understand it.  For us, child rearing is also a project that we share and we work for it together. Together we are experiencing the ups and downs, joys and frustrations. We are understanding and appreciating each other better because same thing is important for both of us, our son. Although this is our first parenting experience but we read, ask and share every aspect of raising our son well. We empathize, express gratitude and apologize to each other. I once read somewhere that “ The relationship between husband and wife is the foundation on which kids build their sense of security, their identity, and learn to relate to each other.” So for me, coming on same page means a solid bond between me and my husband. We are still learning and we accept it’s only beginning of parenthood for us. Lot more will come in future with challenges and complexities of raising a kid. I believe Co-operation, communication and affection three keys can help in unlocking any issue. And true is that “Good parenting is not how the kids are behaving, good parenting is how parents are behaving.”
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